


Defying Death

by vvivid



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Blank Period, Blood and Violence, Chaotic Good Sakura, Child Death, Death, Female Friendship, Founding of Konoha, Haruno Sakura-centric, I forgot about canon timelines but we're just going to make it work, Kinda, Me pretending like I understand Naruto lore, Multi, Non-Mass, Not Beta Read, Referenced Romance, Sakura accidentally breaks the timeline, Self-Discovery, Short Chapters, Slow Build, Strong Haruno Sakura, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Undecided Relationship(s), girls supporting girls, like a few times, low key crack fic, we go from 0 to 100... eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26471416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vvivid/pseuds/vvivid
Summary: Sakura feels she's become a bit too placid after the war, her daily life running on autopilot. However, her desire to continue growing and become a better shinobi might prove to be a bit... audacious. Not like that would stop her, though.In which Sakura dedicates herself to creating a jutsu unlike any other, and the consequences that follow that. Eventual Time Travel AU.
Relationships: Aburame Shino & Haruno Sakura, Haruno Sakura & Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Karin, Haruno Sakura & Senju Hashirama & Uchiha Madara, Haruno Sakura & Yamanaka Ino
Comments: 47
Kudos: 125





	1. Failure

**Author's Note:**

> aaahhhh hello, i hope you enjoy 
> 
> TW: minor gore, blood, death  
> (chapter 1 baby hell yes)

As fast as it had come upon them, it was over; this dreaded war that, in a matter of days, had ravaged homes and families. Villages, soldiers, civilians, wildlife, forests, mountains—everything was brought down in its path. Even those far from the battle suffered in some way or another, whether it be from the aftermath, or watching their loved ones walking straight towards death. They—they being the collective whole, everyone—experienced some kind of lost. Some kind of hurt. But that was just war, wasn’t it? It was a war that had to be fought, a war that had to be won. After all, it’s not easy to turn your back on a raging Rabbit Goddess as she attempted to devour the world’s inhabitants for her own selfish, disgusting wants. So while there was loss, pain, and suffering, in the end, it was a worthwhile price for what could’ve been. 

But the war was over now, and people were beginning to heal. She knew, in the end, things would eventually settle and the world would return to what it once was, if not better. Still, with the end of the war, with villages ushering in a new era, she couldn’t help but wonder what her place would be now. She had poured herself into training the years prior, always striving for something more. She could no longer sit back and watch, hoping for someone to swoop in and save the day. But ironically, as she contemplated often through the days, that never really changed. How was it possible for her to become stronger, to achieve what so few people have, and yet—and yet, she was still there. Stuck. Watching from the sidelines as others did the heavy lifting. 

Sakura tried not to doubt herself. When one thought of it critically, she had actually achieved quite a lot—especially for her age. She was a renowned medical ninja, if not one of the best in the world. She had surpassed even her mentor (at Tsunade’s insistence), proudly wearing her yin seal for all to see. She had also famously punched a goddess, which she would have to admit, felt like it gave her pretty good bragging rights. Sakura glanced to the side automatically, the horn of the fallen goddess sitting proudly on her dresser. She wasn’t sure how she managed to walk away with it, but she kept it as her only prize. Looking at it helped to root her in reality. A quiet sigh. When she separated herself from these things, she could agree these were all incredible accomplishments. So why couldn’t she just accept that? 

Maybe that was her problem. She told herself to accept herself, but didn’t that make her complacent? She could feel the ghost of his touch against her forehead, her own fingers brushing against her skin lightly. She wished someone would just give her guidance. That was another problem she knew; often, she wanted someone—anyone—to point her in a direction and tell her to go. She could easily follow directions, and she knew if someone let her, she could meet any standards they gave her. But she struggled to find these paths herself. 

Sakura sighed, rubbing her temples. Her thoughts were jumbled, as they often were this late at night. During the day, she could lose herself in work. She worked full time as the hospital, helping to heal anyone who had the unfortunate luck of limping past their doors. It had been over a month since the war, and they were still in the middle of recovery. They still had numerous shinobi (or soldiers, depending on how you saw it) occupying their beds. 

Maybe the long hours were getting to her. Would it be selfish of her to ask for a day off? (Yes, her mind supplied her. No one else got time off.) 

With each passing day, the darkness in the back of her mind grew. She needed substance of any kind, a way to revive herself. As she laid in her bed, staring up at the ceiling—another restless night—memories danced behind glazed eyes. She could feel everyone else passing her yet again, moving forward as she was stuck in limbo. Unmoving, sluggish, weighed down. These feelings mixed with the ghost sensation of healing, her hands pulsing with a familiar chakra although they sat colorless now. Her gut twisted with anxiety, her fingers and toes numbing themselves as her heart began to beat erratically. 

Everyone had experienced loss from the war, but her? Compared to others, she was almost... untouched. Her parents were still alive, just shaken, and most of her friends still walked the earth. Ino had lost her dad. Sakura squeezed her eyes tightly, trying to will the visual of her blonde friend sobbing at the funeral away from her thoughts. After the war, the village had issued a week-long memorial for all those they had lost. It had been extremely painful, but afterwards, a calm had settled over them. They began to heal, rebuilding their homes and village with a newfound purpose. Sakura couldn’t shake the images. Another sleepless night. 

//////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// 

The hospital was busy, but that was pretty normal. Sakura had long rubbed away the tiredness in her eyes, going on her ninth hour in her shift and fifth cup of coffee. She was supposed to have to have a short day, the other staff feeling bad for her always picking up shifts and working endless hours. Unfortunately, a building had collapsed during construction, and they had a large influx of injured workers. Some walked away with scrapes, while other had to be carried in with crushed legs and ruptured organs. In a twisted way, it at least made her shift go fast. She could lose herself in the process of healing, bouncing between patients as needed. It took over three hours, but they had eventually caught up. 

Sakura was sitting outside on the roof, sipping tea, and eating her lunch quietly. The breeze was cool, autumn only a few weeks ago, but it felt good against her sweaty skin. She let out a soft sigh, leaning her back against the wall and closing her eyes for a moment. Her thoughts from the previous night filtered in and out of her head, always there but begrudgingly shoved to the back of her head. She hated to see people in pain. It was hard to beat the relief she felt when she successfully healed a patient, watching them sigh with deep content, their muscles relaxing under the glow of her hand. It was as therapeutic for them as it was for her. 

“Sa~ku~ra-cha~n!” A familiar voice called in a sing-song tone to her, Ino’s head popping out from behind the door. She had a bright, eye-catching smile, one she always seemed to have despite everything. Ino was like the sun, radiating a warm light that drew people in. Sakura returned the smile, giving her a half-wave before patting a spot next to her on the bench. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Sakura greeted her, Ino moving to take a seat next to her. “Hungry?” 

“Nah, I’m good, but thanks,” she replied, stretching her arms high above her head. “I ate before I came.” 

“Jeez, how long are your lunches?” Sakura joked, taking another bite as Ino shot her a dramatic look. 

“However long I need, thank you very much! I’m still just training! Besides, most places are so busy rebuilding, we’re not super worried about people invading.” 

Sakura hummed thoughtfully, taking a long sip of her tea. “Wouldn’t that mean we’re especially vulnerable?” 

Ino sighed loudly, slumping forward a bit. “Come on Sakura, I just want a little break. Let's not talk about that stuff right now, okay?” she finished with a pout, making Sakura snort. 

“Fine, fine,” she said, her hand giving a lazy wave. “What brings you to the hospital?” 

“Can’t I just come see my beautiful, amazing, supportive, loving friend?” She said through batting eyelashes, making Sakura roll her eyes. 

“And what can this beautiful, amazing, supportive, loving friend do for you?” 

Ino’s eyes lit up mischievously at the question, leaning into Sakura’s shoulder. “I mean, it’s not like I'm looking for a favor or anything--” 

“Of course not,” 

“--but! But, well...” Ino bit her lip with a cheeky smile, Sakura’s lips instinctively mimicking her. “Well, I have this thing... no big deal or anything. Just a date.” 

Sakura gave Ino a friendly push, Ino erupting into giggles as she adjusted herself and pushed her back. “With who? And what does this have to do with me?” 

“Well-- and now, hear me out—it's a double date.” 

“No.” 

“Sakura~!” She whined, throwing her arms around the pinkette’s shoulder. Sakura took the largest bite of food she could manage, chewing it down slowly as Ino pleaded in her eyes. “Please! I think it would be fun for us, don’t you think? Go out for a night, enjoy the village? I know you never leave this place but there’s actually so much progress.” 

Sakura swallowed the rest of her food down hard, contemplating. She was sure it was true—people had been working so hard to help rebuild the village, many structures had been repaired or rebuilt completely. She had heard some of the earlier workers talking about a potential festival soon to celebrate their progress. Sakura hadn’t really taken the chance to go out and see how it was coming, much too busy with work. The issue arose with this idea of a date. She thought of the Uchiha who had recently returned home, how he made her stomach still flutter despite all of her instincts telling her to move on. But he wasn’t here, and probably wouldn’t be for another couple of weeks. He left often for his whole redemption thing, which she fully supported, but still. Would it kill him to listen to reason for once? 

Nonetheless, at the end of the day, he wasn’t here. Sakura’s back relaxed and she let out a defeated sigh, Ino squealing joyfully in her ear. They both knew it was over. “Thank you so much Sakura-chan! The date is this weekend, okay? We can get ready at my house together, it’ll be so fun. You deserve a night!” Ino bubbled, clapping her hands together. Sakura could only imagine what was going through her head right now. 

“Who is it with?” Sakura asked, finishing off the rest of her meal and setting her box to the other side of her. Ino glanced her way, her grin spreading. Never a good sign. 

“It’s a surprise.” 

“Huh?” 

Ino opened her mouth, surely to give her some witty line, but a nurse burst through the door. Sakura’s head snapped over to her, Ino’s grip tightening for a moment on Sakura’s arm. The nurse’s eyes were wide, her hands shaking, but the rest of her seemed oddly calm. “Sakura-san, you are needed urgently. There has been an accident.” 

Sakura stood immediately, abandoning her lunch without thought. Before she followed after the nurse, she felt Ino’s hand slip from her arm to her hand, giving her once last squeeze. Sakura walked quickly after the nurse, the two descending the stairs with speed as she relayed the information she knew. Ino glanced back at the food, sighing as she scooped it up to toss it. She had a feeling Sakura wouldn’t be coming back any soon. 

The two entered the third floor of the hospital, greeted by the sight of people scurrying about. There were at least four wounded, and by the looks of it, it was bad. Nurses did their best to contain the bleeding, calling out codes or commands as people worked to stabilize them. Sakura scanned them all slowly, her sharp eye trying to deduce who the worst damaged was. In the end, she approached a middle-aged man who was bleeding profusely from his side, arm mangled and breathing shallow. While the men earlier had been pretty bad, most were easily moved from serious to fair without too much stress. The hardest part had been the time and delicacy it takes to repair the body; healing required patience, the cells only being able to heal so fast. 

The shinobi here and now, they were far worse. Most seemed to be serious, if not critical, and with most people already exhausted from the earlier rush, things didn’t look too great. Sakura got to work immediately, laying the man on his back and pressing her hand against his side. He let out a grunt of pain, eyes shut tight as could be, his body shuddering. “Can you hear my voice, shinobi?” Sakura called to him, her glowing hands beginning to seep into his skin. He gave a weak nod, but didn’t speak. “Do you recall what happened?” 

The man opened his mouth to respond, but instead of words, a gruesome cough followed by blood poured out of his mouth. Sakura’s other hand moved across his chest, her chakra pulsing through his body to see any other signs of damage. She could sense a punctured lung, broken ribs, internal bleeding, and—hm. Something else was there too, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. A poison of some kind, perhaps? Sakura shifted her hands again, pumping him with as much healing as she could without overworking his cells. If she forced too much regeneration too fast, it would have the opposite effect she needed; his body would begin to shut down in other parts in order to optimize whatever she was focusing on. 

“Nurse!” Sakura called out, a young woman whose name she vaguely recalled as Ami appeared, jumping in almost immediately. “I believe he’s been poisoned with something, but it’s faint. We have to see if the others are affected as well.” 

The woman glanced down at the man who seemed to be struggling to breathe, blood still dripping from his mouth, and gave Sakura a quick nod. “Right away, ma’am.” 

Sakura’s attention was already refocused on the man, doing her best to stop his coughing. Every time his chest heaved, she could feel his insides reacting, his injuries only worsening. Not to mention he was close to choking on his own blood, only surviving because his head had been turned enough that it spilled out and onto the bed. She took a deep breath to calm herself, following into the raging water that was healing. “Shinobi-san, I’m with you,” she attempted to soothe, voice gentle and calm. He grunted a response, his eyes opening just a bit. 

“Please,” he gasped out, before succumbing to the pain and falling limp. Sakura steeled herself, returning to work on the most critical injuries. 

As Sakura worked, she did her best to probe deeper into his body, trying to figure out what was underneath that she was missing. If it was a poison, it was subtle, certainly not built to kill. Perhaps something to weaken the body? A chakra dissolver? Maybe it was why they had fallen originally, a poison meant to just weaken them for the final blows? 

She could see the man’s face loosening up, his lung basically pulled back together, and his internal bleeding minor. She left the fractures for later, as they weren’t life-threatening and she wasn’t going to waste pressure chakra and time mending it. When Sakura felt him stabilize enough, she flagged another healer down to take her spot. There were more victims, and her expertise would be essential for securing their life. 

As Sakura moved to the other critical patient and began to assess them, she finally took note of who exactly she was healing; it looked to be a genin team, although one she didn’t recognize. They weren’t from this village, she observed silently. It wasn’t uncommon; with all the damage down to their village, they had contracted many others for assistance with simple work. Most likely, they had been contracted for an easy mission, perhaps coming for just a couple of days to lend a helping hand. So, why were they here now? And who would poison them? 

“Ma’am,” Ami spoke, drawing Sakura’s attention. She didn’t respond, too focused on fixing the brain bleed that had been overlooked by the other healers. God, and here she thought they were supposed to be professionals. Either way, Sakura glanced her way for a moment to show her attention, and Ami continued. “The poison specialist is here; he is working with your first patient. We should know soon.” 

Good, she thought, turning her attention back to the younger boy. Sakura could feel whatever it was lingering in the boy here as well, but with the hemorrhage, her priorities were quite clear. She made a mental note to rip the doctors a new one for missing it; if she hadn’t gone to him next, he would’ve died for sure. Thankfully, that seemed to be the worst of it, and after she repaired the damage here, she should hopefully be able to move on to the others. She prayed no one else made such a stupid mistake. 

The boy beneath her twitched, his arms suddenly jerking. Sakura narrowed her eyes, watching as his muscles began to spasm. She was (metaphorically) elbows deep in his brain, so his reaction wasn’t anything to do with that—which meant it had to be the poison, somehow. “Get ready to stabilize the others!” Sakura called out, “the younger ones may begin showing worse reactions soon.” 

On cue, the boy beneath her screamed, his body attempting to seize. She swore under her breath, doing her best to keep him still as she finished patching up the rest of his brain. If only the poison had just waited a few more seconds, she would’ve been able to jump right into forcing it out of his system. Instead, she watched as he helpless shook beneath her, a nurse coming to her head and doing her best to force his muscles into relaxing. 

The cries of the other children echoed in her ears, but she didn’t dare to look up. She knew they were most likely beginning to seize as well, if not worse; their injuries were being treated, but the shock and movement of seizures would only complicate things. Sakura honed in on her own work, feeling the rest of her chakra seep into the boy beneath her, the bleeding come to a stop. She moved fast, already to the next child. This one was in a significantly better position, at least in comparison to the others. Her body had calmed from the seizure, but Sakura could tell another one was coming on quickly. While the others had extreme injuries, hers were simple enough that Sakura could actually focus on the poison aspect. 

“He’s crashing!” 

Sakura had only just begun healing the internal damage when she heard the call, jerking her head behind her to see a doctor rushing to a child’s side. Her current patient wasn’t critical, she should go help the other kid-- 

The girl beneath her green glow began to convulse, blood dripping from every opening Sakura could see. The sudden change startled Sakura; was she so distracted she hadn’t noticed the symptoms emerging or was the poison suddenly kicking in? A man joined her, saying something along the lines of being a poison expert, but Sakura could barely hear him. She had to make a choice. 

Sakura swallowed. Both. 

With the poison expert at her side, the two were able to combine their efforts to stabilize the girl. Sakura focused her chakra on healing both the old damage and anything that was now occurring. The poison was working fast, but Sakura was faster. The poison expert worked on removing what he could from her body, and where he went, Sakura followed. The second the poison left her system; Sakura was there to mend the damage. The girl cried out in pain, but she tuned it out, knowing she couldn’t risk distractions right now. Her heart pounded in her throat, adrenaline running high. She would live, god damnit, Sakura wouldn’t stand for failure. 

Sweat drenched her forehead, her mind racing, but her hands were calm and steady. Another moment later, the girl let out a soft sigh, her body going limp. She would make it. As soon as Sakura saw the signs, she turned and joined the others with the last child. His injuries were extremely minimal, a stark contrast to the others. Even the girl had some sort of fractures and internal damage, but the boy? He had maybe a concussion, a bit bloodied and bruised, but nothing too serious. Yet, he was having the worst reaction to the poison. If she could’ve only gotten to him sooner, if she had just a bit more time-- 

Sakura did the best she could, chakra filling the struggling child. While he looked over from the outside, now that she was there, she had a completely different reassessment. His chakra lines were fried, his blood basically morphing into poison at this point. She could feel his vitals shutting down, his body struggling to keep up with the poison. She could scream if her lips weren’t hard-pressed together. The poison expert was behind them, calling for ingredients from the nurses. Was he going to try and create an antidote? But there’s no time! Her mind buzzed, and with every passing second, her heartbeat a bit faster in her chest. 

She hated this. Being a medic didn’t prepare her for seeing broken and bloodied children, watching them cry and suffer even as she did all she could. Sakura poured her heart and soul into her healing, doing the best she could to keep this child alive. The poison expert should be here, helping with damage control of the poison; the doctor should be helping stabilize the heart while Sakura worked on repairing the brain; they should have another here, someone who could help with the chakra lines, feeding them something. 

Everything was slow. Nearly still, if Sakura wasn’t paying attention; she felt it happen, her chakra pumping into an unmoving heart. He was dead. 

For how long? How long was she standing there, barking commands, and doing her best to pull him back from the brink? Sakura blinked, her vision unable to decide between being far too clear and being completely blurred. She looked down at her hands, covered in blood up to her elbow, but unshaken. She looked past them, staring at the boy who still looked to be in pain; if she didn’t know better, he still almost looked... alive. 

“We did everything we could,” someone told her, and Sakura shook her head. She could’ve done more; she was sure of it. Wasn’t she supposed to be the apprentice to the legendary medical ninja herself? Yet, there was the body of a dead child before her. One she had tried to help, and failed. Sakura couldn’t find the energy to even clench her fists, her arms lying limp next to her. She closed her eyes, shaking her head. “The others will live,” another voice told her, giving her at least some comfort. If only she had more time; just a few seconds more, and Sakura knew she could’ve done something to help. Fuck. 

Sakura left to find the nearest shower, wanting to wash the sight of failure off. The rest of her shift blurred, but she ended up leaving only a few hours later. A thirteen-hour shift, per usual for her. They had tried to send her home earlier, but Sakura insisted, knowing that if she left, she would simply drown in her own thoughts. So instead, she stayed, pouring herself into work that helped dull the pain a little bit. 

It took her only minutes to reach her home afterward, Sakura using the last little bit of chakra to move quickly through the town. She didn’t want to even undress, but knew come morning, she would be pissed if her bed had any more blood stains. She stripped down, tossing her soiled clothes into a nearby basket before taking another shower. Under the hot water in her own home, she could relax a little. 

It wasn’t as if Sakura had never seen someone die. She had seen plenty die, in fact; many of which were due to her own incompetence. It didn’t make it any easier nor better; she hurt every time, the overwhelming feeling of failure swallowing her up. Kids were especially hard. Tsunade sympathized with her, but ultimately, told her this was just a fact of life. People die. Kids die. Innocents die. As a medic, you have to be able to steel yourself. Swallow the pain and continue on. There will be others, so many others; if you get caught up on every little death, you would never be able to grow. Sakura knew this, and she reminded herself often. 

She went face first into her bed, laying limp for a few moments before gripping the pillow tightly and using it to muffle her frustrated scream. She had to be more, to do more. She couldn’t be complacent, accepting that sometimes you just don’t make it in time, or there just isn’t anything you can do. Wasn’t there something—anything—that she could do? Sakura rolled onto her back, body boiling with anger. She wanted to do more, help more; she was sick of seeing people die. She herself had worked towards an ability that was near-immortality, and yet--- and yet, it was useless here. Unacceptable. She would die a million times if it meant others would be saved. 

Sakura stared daggers at the ceiling, her rage forming into something more. An idea; rough and unpolished, but there. Others have created unbelievable jutsus before her, testing the limits of what humans and chakra could do. So why would she be any different? Her control of chakra is almost literally perfect, and she was smart. Her knowledge on ninjutsu and others were limited, sure, but she could learn. Sakura was always for a challenge. She turned to her side; her resolve steeled. 

She would create a jutsu like no other—one that could defy death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhh comments are appreciated 🥺 thank you for reading


	2. Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after a short discussion w my friend, we decided shino doesn't get NEARLY as much love in canon as he deserves. therefore, he will become the brotp in this story. thank u
> 
> (ps, my stories aren't proof/beta read, so if you see anything really bad just pretend that you didn't <3)

Sakura knew that creating a new  jutsu would be difficult; she wasn’t naïve enough to assume it would be easy. Still, she struggled with even the first step of it: what did she want to create? Sakura had wracked her brain the past few nights trying to figure out where to even begin. She considered something similar to her yin seal, a heal that was so strong that you just  _ couldn’t _ _ die _ when it was active. Of course, that did raise the problem of most likely shortening the person’s natural lifespan. She wondered if there was a way to counter it, but considering that even the almighty yin seal struggled with this, she doubted it. It went like this with any idea she thought of, weighing the pros and cons before ultimately shelving it.

Still, after making up her mind, she felt reinvigorated. She was excited to have another goal, something she could strive for. Maybe she was a busybody, but no matter—it was for a good cause anyway. The few days at the hospital had flown by, Sakura working her  _ actual _ shifts and leaving after a healthy eight hours. Afterward, she would head to the shinobi library and read. She hoped to find something that could grant her guidance, whether it be an idea or just some sort of procedure. She knew that most of this project would fall onto her shoulders, but a little bit of advice couldn’t hurt?

She was so caught up in her research that she almost forgot about the double date. Sakura had awoken to insistent knocking around noon, awakening her from a comfortable nap. Begrudgingly she had answered, only for Ino to stride cheerfully into her home. “Aren’t you excited?” She had asked, only to be met with a confused stare back. Ino sighed, her shoulders drooping. “You forgot, huh?”

It was hours later and Sakura sat on the edge of Ino’s bed, watching her finish up her own makeup. The girl was beautiful as is, but man, the girl knew how to work a palette. Sakura had always admired her skill with a brush, wishing to learn herself. Too bad she never gave it the time of day, always choosing to either nap, study, or work in her free time. Maybe she should consider picking it up again? Since she was already so motivated, what was another thing to learn?

“How does this look?”

“Cute.”

“You’re just saying that,” Ino whined, turning and pouting. Sakura just shrugged, a  half-smile on her face.

“I think you look good in anything.”

“Oh stop,” she laughed, flipping her hair over her shoulder dramatically. “Anyways, what do you want to wear? My closet is your oyster.”

Sakura stood and walked over, thumbing through the different fabrics half-heartedly. She wasn’t super great at this if she was honest; if it wasn’t too obvious, she always leaned towards red tops and either tan or black pants. It was a bit of a problem, even she would admit it. Perhaps sensing her anxiety, Ino stepped next to her, leaning comfortably against her. “If you wear anything red, I’ll break your legs.”

“Well, I don’t know what else...”

“Ok, ok. I'll choose for you. Don’t worry, you’re in extremely capable hands~!”

Sakura gave her a look, but snorted and turned to sit back down. Ino hummed loudly, tapping her chin in thought. She could hear her mumbling things, watching as she pulled on one thing before shaking her head and putting it back. It went on for a few minutes before she gasped, turning around and holding up a dress triumphantly. With seeing the look on Sakura’s face, she quickly cut off all of Sakura’s inner thoughts. “Ok I  _ know _ what you’re thinking... But I would never steer you wrong! It’s cute and yes, it’s out of your comfort zone, but I think it’d be so cute on you! Won’t you at least try it on?”

Begrudgingly, Sakura undressed and changed into the dress of Ino’s choice. It was cute for sure, but Sakura didn’t know how well it’d translate on her. It was always shorter—coming to about her midthigh-- then what she was used to. Once it was on, Ino was on her to quickly adjust things; she pulled the bottom a bit, spinning it more at the waist so it sat evenly, and helped adjust the shoulders. When she was done, she pulled back and gestured for Sakura to check in the mirror. Sakura ran a hand through her hair, looking over herself critically. The dress was a dark blue, with white little flowers spread out across it; the middle was a deep v, one that dropped and exposed more cleavage then Sakura thinks she’s ever shown in her life, cinched a bit above her waist, with cute puffy sleeves. 

Ok, it was cute, but still!

Ino had the largest grin, knowing she had managed to impress Sakura. “I hate it,” she said jokingly, making Ino snort and push her. 

“Yeah, whatever Forehead.”

The two finished getting ready, Ino draping some necklaces on Sakura to make her a little less insecure about her chest, as well as a little makeup. Ino spent the last hour working on their hair, telling Sakura it would be cute if they both curled her hair. Sakura wasn’t sure if she could ever go on a date again; there was so much work that was put into this, and she didn’t even know who she was going to be meeting! It was insane to her. She underestimated how much effort went into getting ready.

Another thirty minutes later, the two would be standing outside a quaint restaurant, Ino talking off Sakura’s ear. She could tell that Ino was nervous now, especially since the date would be starting soon. Sakura felt it too, but hid it better, trying to reassure her friend that everything would go great. Surprisingly, the village was lively, people wandering and enjoying the new buildings and shops that had been built. It was nice to see something so... normal. Sakura was so used to working, she never got to see people just enjoying themselves. Which, she reminded herself, that was why she was here tonight. Whether the date was good or not, she would have fun. Hopefully.

“Oh, it’s Ugly,” Sai greeted, Sakura’s head snapping to watch as he approached. Ino laughed nervously, waving his comment off. Clearly, she didn’t want him to ruin the mood so soon. Sakura glanced between them, everything quickly adding up.

“ _ He’s _ your date?” Sakura asked  incredulously .

Ino blushed, but nodded. “Yes, he is—now you can see what I couldn’t tell you!” 

“Why would I care if you were going on a date with Sai?” 

“You mean—you don’t care?”

Sakura raised her eyebrows in disbelief, her mouth gaping. “What? Of course not.”

Ino fell quiet, looking like she was contemplating something. She glanced back to Sakura with a smile, grabbing her hand and turning back to Sai. “Well, this is almost everyone!” 

“I’m scared to see who this other person is,” Sakura sighed, but glanced at the two with a small smile. At least with Sai, things wouldn’t be awkward (or so she hoped). But if Ino had been worried about her meeting just Sai, she couldn’t imagine who her date could be. 

“He should be here shortly,” Sai said with a nod, a familiar fake smile plastered on. Sakura resisted the urge to sigh; she had a bad feeling about all of this.

The trio headed inside, taking a table and making sure to reserve a seat. Sai insisted they wait inside, and that the mystery boy would show up a bit late due to a mission. Sakura tried to not act frustrated, wondering when the last time  _ she _ went on a mission was. Shortly after drinks were placed, someone approached their table and greeted with a slight bow. Sakura’s jaw tightened as Shino took a seat across from her next to Sai, but forced herself to relax. No need to make things so tense right away.

“Oh, perfect, everyone’s here!” Ino clapped beside her, turning and smiling towards her. Sakura returned with a softer smile, forcing her internal screaming away. It wasn’t like Sakura didn’t like Shino; it was just—they didn’t even know each other? Talk ever? Never existed within thirty feet of each other? They barely interacted at all, and Sakura would’ve bet all of her coin on Shino having very little interest in the whole “dating” thing. But, she supposed, this was the point of dating. Getting to know each other.

“How’d Ino convince you to come tonight?” Sakura asked, turning and smiling towards Shino. His face was mostly hidden, but it didn’t seem like he reacted at all. Ino coughed into her hand next to her, clearly offput by the question.

“She didn’t.”

Sakura raised a brow curiously, leaning forward absently. “Oh?”

“Sai did.”

She could feel her soul leaving her body, sure that her face gave everything away. Ino grabbed her hand automatically, laughing lightly to help break the tension. Sakura didn’t know how to process this information. Sai found  _ her _ a date? Well, now everything was making sense. She could jump over the table and ring his neck, but felt it was better to do so in private.

“Ah, aha, I see. So, Sai said you were on a mission. What was it?” She was desperate for any change in conversation. She needed something to distract her.

“It was a simple recon mission.”

A waitress came and took their orders, also setting a glass down in front of Shino. Sakura thanked her and when she left, turned back to Shino to continue; except he didn’t, staring back at her quietly. Right.

“Was it a solo?”

“No, it was for Team 8-- excluding Kurenai.”

“Ah, that’s right, she’s expecting soon  isn't she?”

Shino nodded, taking a slow sip of his drink. “How about some drinks, to celebrate a successful mission?” Ino offered, elbowing Sakura subtly. She resisted sighing; it was going to be a long night.

“Sure,” Shino said, and Sai hummed his compliance. Honestly, the idea of Shino of drinking—getting drunk, even—was so foreign it was almost hilarious. At least with a few drinks in her system, she could loosen up a bit. Although Sakura didn’t give a verbal indication, Ino knew her friend well enough to flag a waitress down as ask for a round. The woman gave a short bow before heading back and shortly producing them a bottle of sake. The group took their first cups, and Sakura resisted downing it like water. 

“ So what was the mission exactly?” Ino asked, allowing Sakura a moment to take in the alcohol. She was a good friend, truly.

“Recon.” 

The table fell quiet for a moment, everyone mutually understanding what it meant; they just faced the dilemma of how to move on from the topic without making it weird. It did pique her interest, though, as (for the most part) times were quite peaceful. Her brain was kind enough to supply a memory of the other day, hands shifting in and out of focus as a still body lay beneath her. She shook her head to force it out, taking another healthy sip to help her sudden nerves. 

“Did it go well?” Ino asked with a smile, resting her elbows on the table casually. Shino nodded his response, taking his own drink and bringing it to his lips. Although things were tense, Ino was a  _ master _ as diffusing social situations, and easily helped move the conversation along to something lighter. Sakura was once again impressed by her blonde friend; she could be such a threat when she wanted to be.

The main downside had been when Ino wanted to focus her attention on her own date, leaving Sakura to fend for herself. One would think that having been on Sasuke’s team, she would be adept at making conversations with people who didn’t talk much. The thing is, Sakura was content with silence if that’s what the person desired, but clearly with this being a  _ date _ and all... it  wasn’t really an option. As Sakura mulled over her thoughts, picking at her food absently, it was Shino that spoke up: “You work at the hospital?”

Sakura blinked, surprised by it, but more so surprised he knew literally anything about her. Nonetheless, she smiled and nodded, “I do, actually. I don’t do missions much nowadays, instead focusing on helping to rebuild the hospital and stuff. It's a lot of work, but I enjoy it.”

“Will you ever return to missions?”

Sakura hummed to herself, tapping the side of her drink in thought. “I thought about it, but I'm not sure. There's the possibility of me becoming the head doctor, which I thought about taking--” Shino nodded at her, and she continued with his silent *, “but the thing is, I don’t want to get stuck in the same? If that makes sense.”

“Yes,” he replied easily, pulling his high jacket down to eat. “But I imagine being at a hospital, things must change often enough.”

Sakura laughed, covering her mouth with the back of her hand to hide the food she had just taken a bite of. She swallowed it down, nodding his way. “I suppose. I mean, I love it, and I'm really good at it, but I just hate the idea of--”

“Complacency.”

“Yeah, exactly. I just don’t know exactly what I want to do yet, where I  wanna go?” It was a half-lie. Sakura had a goal in mind, but it seemed a bit inappropriate to bring up on a first date. “How about you Shino?”

He considered for a moment, still as could be. “I thought about becoming a teacher,” he told her plainly, pushing his now empty plate a bit forward. Sakura hadn’t even noticed he had finished, and with a quick glance around, Ino and Sai were also finishing their meals. 

“Oh? I think that’d be wonderful.” 

Shino looked down at the table, thinking. Sakura, now burning with curiosity, leaned forward automatically. “What made you decide on it?”

“I think the next generation will have a lot of struggles, and being someone who has lived through a very unique time, I feel my advice would be valuable.”

Sakura nodded her agreement, drinking the last bit of sake down with a smooth gulp. As her cup hit the table, she could feel the warmth spreading from her stomach. She didn’t drink often, but it was moments like this—her shoulders beginning to relax, her smile spreading wider—that she wondered why. It felt great, all in all.

“Another round?” A waitress greeted them, and it was Shino who nodded to her.

“Please.”

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The group left the small restaurant, Sakura doing her best to act unphased from the alcohol. Sure, she could always burn it off, but she enjoyed the feeling of teetering between tipsy and drunk; it allowed her an excuse to let go a little bit, something she often struggled with. She was able to walk straight, just barely, but her cheeks were rosy and she had a dorky smile she couldn’t seem to shake off. They had gone through not only one or two bottles, but five, and Sakura was feeling it. As she drank, she also became  chattier , but Shino seemed to take in stride. They even held some conversation, which was nice.

“Where to?” Sakura asked Ino, proud that none of her words had slurred. Ino gave her a sheepish grin, wrapping her arm through Sai’s. 

“Well, Sai wanted to show me something...”

Sakura tilted her head, her brain slowly putting the pieces together. “ Oooh ...” Sakura murmured, rubbing her cheek with a pout. Ino flushed, but otherwise kept her cool, gently pushing Sakura towards her own date.

“We’ll meet up for lunch tomorrow, okay?” Ino promised, and Sakura agreed with a smile.

“Ok.”

Satisfied, Ino returned her arm to Sai, and began to walk briskly away—clearly, they had something in mind, but Sakura paid no mind to it. “Take good care of her!” Ino called one last time behind her, before disappearing into the night crowd.

Alone with Shino, she felt herself sobering up; she wasn’t sure where to go from now. Sakura turned to  Shino, mouth open as she searched for words. He had been staring ahead where Ino had disappeared to, his eyes now dropping down to meet her own. 

“I--” she stumbled, shaking her head. “Anywhere you wanna go?”

Shino shrugged before beginning to walk in the opposite direction of Ino, and Sakura matched his pace. They walked quietly next to each other, and Sakura took the time to really absorb everything around her. Much like earlier, the village was lively, lights strung building to building to help aluminate the walkways; people were in restaurants and bars, laughing and conversing loudly. The streets were busy, numerous pedestrians walking to and  fro . It was odd, as the sun had already set, but people were happily outside and enjoying their time. It made her happy, but at the same time, made her feel like she was lost in a dream. Everything was a ghost of itself, even though she knew logically it wasn’t, and she began to argue with herself until Shino’s voice pulled her from her thoughts.

“You’re unsettled,” he said matter-of-factly, and Sakura grit her teeth.

“Kinda,” she admitted, knowing there was no point in lying. “I’m really happy to see everything slowly going back to normal, but...” she trailed over, pausing to watch a parent scooping up their small child, watching as the kid fell into an almost instant sleep once they were comfortable.

“I know,” he told her, head forward. “I think that is part of the burden of being a shinobi.”

“It’s not fair.”

“Yes, it’s not.”

They continued on, walking at a slow pace as Sakura took in everything around her. She was trying to burn everything into her memory, a lingering fear that it all may crumble come morning. She thought of Pein and his devastation, shaking her head of the thoughts. Clearly, the alcohol wasn’t doing much for her now.

After another ten minutes, the duo found themselves at a park, and Sakura was thankful for a chance to finally sit down and rest. She let out a loud sigh of content as she plopped down on the bench, stretching her legs out. She almost forgot about her dress, but didn’t think Shino would mind a little extra thigh action. It was all he was going to get anyways. He took a seat next to her, and the two sat in silence as they stared at the deserted park. Unlike the streets, this was quiet and not very well lit, but she assumed it was a way to discourage children from sneaking out at night.

“Sorry,” she said suddenly, staring absently at the swing set. “I’m sure tonight has been  kinda weird. I don’t really do dates.”

“Neither do I,” Shino responded, and Sakura felt her lips quirk up a bit. “But I think it was nice. I think we often overlook the charm of being around others.”

“Very deep,” she snorted, a light giggle escaping her lips. “But true either way.”

“Besides,” Shino started, slipping his hands into his pockets, “I’ve heard a bit about the hospital, and how... busy it is. I’m sure it isn’t easy.”

The reality of who she is and what she does for a living was upon her suddenly, her fingers gripping the edge of the bench tightly. “Yeah...” she murmured, her gaze dropping to just a few feet ahead of her. She contemplated what to say next, wondering if it was better to change the topic or say something offhanded. “It’s pretty awful, actually.”

She wasn’t sure what came over her, if it was the alcohol or something else—a desire to lay bare her soul, perhaps, but she felt an overwhelming desire to just be honest. She wanted someone to hear her thoughts and struggles, like if she didn’t let it out soon, she was going to explore. For sure too much alcohol tonight.

Shino was quiet, and she took the floor with little hesitation. “It just sucks.  I'm doing important work, and I know that, and of course I  _ love _ it—but I don’t know. I'm aimless. Unsatisfied, maybe? I see so many bad things, I thought I'd be desensitized, but I'm not. Every time it fucks me up.” She shook her head before rubbing her face into her palms, embarrassed. It was so like her to just overshare, huh? She had done so much rambling tonight, she wondered why she couldn’t learn to just shut the hell up sometimes.

“I think that’s a good quality in you,” Shino responded after a moment, leaning forward so his presence was more known to her. She turned to him, a frown set deep into her features but looked at him with genuineness. “That’s why people like Naruto, too. He’s empathetic. No matter what he sees or what happens, he is always there. Just like you...” Sakura couldn’t see his eyes, and yet she could feel his gaze (holy fuck was she drunk), weirdly warm and welcoming. “I don’t think I am very good at explaining myself sometimes--”

“I think you’re doing great,” Sakura laughed, now noticing the light tears that had slipped down her face, which she continued to ignore.

Shino, the prince of no emotion (second to only Sasuke), smiled at her, and she felt herself on the verge of straight-up  _ balling _ . “Thank you,” he replied sincerely. “I mean it, though. I think that your humanity is one of your greatest strengths.”

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All in all, it was a good night. Shino walked her home after she had a good cry at the park, and told her if she ever wanted to talk again to swing by the offices near the school or near the old training ground. If she was bold enough, she could even swing by his clan’s lands but said she’d have to be ready for a million and one questions. He also clarified that next time, it didn’t have to be a ‘date’, but rather, just two friends meeting up. She assured him she would absolutely take him up on that offer.

Now that she was home, cheeks dry, back in comfy clothes, and sprawled out on her couch, she began to think. A curse, really. Shino’s words reverberated in her mind, echoing endlessly. Her humanity, huh? Sakura closed her eyes, her body heavy as sleep nipped at her. She wondered if Shino would have any idea of how to create a  jutsu , or if he’d be willing to perhaps lend a hand some other way. He was smart and from a well-known clan, so surely, they had some idea? 

Before she knew it, light had started pouring into her tiny apartment, her body stiff from sleeping in an awkward position on her tiny touch. She blinked slowly; vision unfocused as she slowly came to her senses. Figured, even on her day off, her body was too entuned to early mornings to let her sleep in. Despite her discomfort though, she felt pretty well-rested, and even more motivated. Today would be a research day, abusing her privilege to enter the high-ranking libraries. 

She made quick work to shower and change, knowing she would inevitably see people, and didn’t want to look as disheveled as she felt. She began to contemplate excuses for spending her day in the library, although she was sure if she was honest, no one would care anyway. Still, there was something almost fun about keeping it a secret. It would be a surprise to everyone when she got to show it off. Only those at the highest levels of trust would be allowed to know—even though, she didn’t think she’d tell many. 

She dressed in simple black pants, paired with a looser red shirt that had her typical white symbol on the back. She ran a hand through her hair, noting how much it’s grown in the past few months. It was still short, but it slowly was beginning to approach her shoulders. She should cut it soon, probably, but a quiet voice in the back of her head told to let it grow out. Maybe it would be nice? She could just redo her whole appearance while she was as it. Maybe before revealing her fancy  jutsu she could convince Ino to help her dye it something else.

The sun was low, and while she hadn’t checked her clocks before leaving, she could guess it was only 7 a.m. or so. Hopefully, there wouldn’t be many people keen on going to the library so early in the morning, but knowing shinobi, it was hard to say. Sakura walked slow, enjoying the fresh air she never got, and that she would once again be leaving to spend all day inside. She told herself that after this whole  jutsu business, she was going to take a week off and just camp outside for a bit. It sounded nice.

The library was located strategically near the intel division, just a couple blocks down, disguised as another plain shinobi building. It had been one of the few buildings that the village had prioritized rebuilding, but it was mainly due to the secrecy of the library. The only reason Sakura knew about this particular one was thanks to her closeness to Tsunade. Sakura snuck into the building, waving at a half-awake guard at the desk who responded in kind with his own lazy wave. 

Sakura walked the quiet halls with haste, rounding a few corners, opening some doors (and quickly apologizing when she accidentally walked in on someone), before settling in front of the staircase. She went through the motions of hand signals, followed by the light dispelling of a  genjutsu , and the hatch to the library opened. She had to hand it to them, it was smart to create a secret underground base. She trudged down the stairs, hearing a faint fizzle as her exit disappeared from her sight. She took a deep breath, descending the dark stairs.

A soft light made her pupils force themselves to readjust, and Sakura found herself entering the main room. Hundreds of seals decorated the walls of the library, acting as a solid defense against being detected, as well as acting as a barrier for potential destruction. It also helped that it was probably sixty feet underground, but you could never be too careful. The room was ancient and unchanged in probably fifty years, most of the light coming from different candles that had been created for the sole purpose of burning forever. Sakura had only been in here once before, but she found her skin littered with goosebumps as she took it all in. She knew how it made her sound, but the aesthetic of it all was truly impressive. It felt like she was taking a step into a different world, one separated from her own timeline. She could easily see herself getting lost here.

Sakura stalked the numerous rows of bookshelves, not looking for anything in particular. She turned a random corner, walking amongst the hundreds of books. Each one had a different, elegant seal on the spine, which she knew meant that none of these books were allowed to leave this building. Another safety  net . 

She walked until she found a small study area, a single set of chairs with a table pressed up against the wall. On it was a half-burnt candle, the only source of light nearby. She grabbed it, using it as a way to guide herself through the area. She knew that buried somewhere in the wall of text that there was a section focused solely on medical ninjutsu. Sakura swallowed hard, hoping it wouldn’t be a pain in the ass to find.

She glanced down the isles she passed, both impressed by their desire for secrecy, but also incredible annoyed that no one labeled anything. She argued with herself about the value of faceless books, knowing that if someone broke in, it would be extremely difficult for the intruders to find what they needed. But she was a loyal shinobi, and the idea that she might spend all day looking for a section drove her crazy. She also thought about what she would do if she found it, and how she would find her way back to the table. It was a problem for future Sakura.

After walking aimlessly for five minutes, she felt a headache coming. Most likely a mix of the drinking the night before, the stress on her eyes, and her overall annoyance with the situation. Knowing she would most likely not need her chakra today, she brought a glowing hand to her forehead. The pain soothed quickly, Sakura letting out a sigh. Something caught her attention from the corner of her eye, and she turned to inspect it. Distantly, she noticed a familiar glow, one she recognized immediately as healing chakra. She dropped her hand, as when she did, so did the light disappear.

A sense of thrill shot through her as she quickly connected the pieces. Sakura immediately returned her own chakra, lifting it up to illuminate the space around her. The glow returned as well, and she gleefully charged for it, slowing as she came face to face with a shining book shelf. The spine of each book resembled her own chakra, and she felt herself cackle as she began to grab at books. She skimmed the first few chapters of each book, putting some back that disinterested until, and going until she had gathered about seven to eight books in her hand. She turned on her heel and raced back towards the table, her face beaming in the darkness. To her own credit, she was able to trace her steps relatively easily and unloaded her goodies on the table. Setting the candle down the end near the wall, Sakura allowed herself another good stretch before settling in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a bit of a slow chapter but that's OKAY!!!! this is a slow build baby, we gotta build that foundation. i promise that in coming chapters things will get absolutely WILD very very fast. until then, comments are extremely appreciated. they melt me wittle heart!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for all the love


	3. Determination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone, hope everyone has been well! i goal had been has been to write 4-5k length chapters, but this one ended up going a bit longer. i hope you guys enjoy <3 i love u
> 
> some minor notes:  
> i literally can't remember half of the shit that happens in canon, lol. there will be holes/gaps/things not lining up, and i'm sorry. collectively, if we all just pretend like everything is totally legit, that would be wonderful :^)
> 
> TW: gore, surgery

Sakura wasn’t sure how long she had stayed in the hidden library, the absence of a sky distorting her perception of time. She had numerous books scattered around her, some open and sprawled out on the table, while others sat in piles around her feet. The candle flickered peacefully, the unyielding source of light. She rubbed her eyes, leaning back in her chair and letting her posture sag. She was hungry.

On one hand, she felt like she had consumed so much information that her brain was going to start swelling, but on the other, she didn’t feel any closer to her  _ actual _ goal. She had read through numerous techniques, poisons, setting bones, and everything else under the sun. At least, she noted to herself, she had an idea of what kind of  jutsu _ didn’t _ exist.

There were a few books, in particular, she was quite fond of, wishing she could take them home to continue her studies, bet knew there was no way that'd fly. She could already hear the alarms going off if she tried to sneak it up the stairs, met by the guards that'd drag her to Tsunade when she stepped out.

With a shudder, Sakura pulled a book into her lap, keeping her slacked posture as her eyes scanned the page quickly. The particle chapter she was reading about involved older healing techniques, things that clans had to utilize back in the day before medics were commonplace. They were meant for those with excellent chakra control, but not necessarily the adeptness to heal. Most, obviously, had become obsolete with time; nowadays, there were lots of people that could genuinely do medical ninjutsu. Although, she couldn’t resist the snort at picturing one of her friends attempting it. They were pretty crude, she ha d to admit, but also found herself fascinated.

Sakura was no history buff, but she couldn’t deny she loved reading about it, easily losing herself to the rich lore of anything she could get her hands on. Her attention honed in on a paragraph that explained how many dealt with poisoning when on the battlefield. It was brutal, involving cutting along the injection point and sucking the blood out manually. The textbook claimed it had a 62% success rate, absolutely brutal. Another she read involved putting a user to genjutsu-like sleep before cutting them open and attempting to manually put the internal organs back correctly. 21% success rate.

She grimaced at the visual, praying for the sad souls back in the day that had to go through this. At least it was better than dying? But honestly, she wasn’t sure. The pain they’d experience upon waking up... her own stomach knotted just thinking about it. Sakura lost herself in thought, going through the  countless procedures she had been taught over the years, her fingers tapping along the side of the book. 

Absently, she lifted a hand, a warm glow engulfing it; she studied it with bored eyes, turning her hand to take in every detail in front of her. She wiggled her fingers before clenching them into a fist, releasing it and rolling her wrist as her fingers made a wave motion. She wondered what the books would say in the future, what  jutsus would be laughed at in a hundred years from now. She wondered if her  jutsu —whatever it may be—would be there, hailed or scorned if mentioned at all. 

Her stomach growled, and she knew she had overstayed her welcome. With a sigh, Sakura gathered the books, organizing them as well as she could, and returned them to their original home. She had a lot to mull over.

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True to her word, Sakura visited Shino a few days later at the offices, two lunches in hand. There was no receptionist, which she figured was due to the fact that this was a low priority that needed guarding; it helped that most people inside were probably jounins as well.

Shino was sitting at a desk, eyebrows knit together in concentration as she read through a thick looking book. Her fingers twitched in anticipation,  curiosity immediately consuming her. Still, she felt suddenly guilty, knowing that she had sent no prior word of her appearance to him. She shifted her weight to one side, wondering if she should just come back at a better time. 

“You can come in,” he called, perhaps sensing her thoughts. She jumped, pulled from her thoughts, and looked up to see him leaning back in his chair comfortably. She smiled sheepishly, feeling like she was  tiptoeing in.

“Sorry if I interrupted.”

“You didn’t,” he replied, shaking his head lightly. He nodded towards a seat across from him, separated by the desk. Sakura accepted his silent invitation, taking a seat across from him.

“I brought lunch,” she offered, handing over the containing on the top. He took it, offering her a quiet thanks. He opened it, taking the chopsticks inside and immediately beginning to eat. It helped ease some of her discomfort, and she physically relaxed as she took her own food and began to eat as well.

They talked a bit through lunch, but Sakura tried to keep it minimal, wanting Shino to have enough time to eat and enjoy it. She wasn’t sure how lunches worked over here, but she knew at the hospital, a lunch was something never set in stone. You were supposed to get an hour, but whether you actually got that or not was a gamble.

Her eyes continued to dart back to the book which remained open, but had been moved to the far side of the desk as to not get in the way. “You seem intrigued,” he said, the slightest hint of joking in his tone. She flushed but smiled it off.

“I am, actually.  What’cha reading?”

With food in one hand, he used his other to gesture towards it. She set her own container down, reaching over and picking it up. It was heavier  than she expected, but the book itself was in exceptional condition. She ran her hands over the page, noting how it must be a recent creation; the type of paper used was nothing like the ancient books she had spent so much time with. 

“I’m doing research for... a project. I went to Lady Tsunade for guidance, and she pointed me to this.” 

Sakura’s eyes went wide, surprised, but more so impressed. She began to read, eyes scanning quickly. “This is a medical textbook?” She asked suddenly, not bothering to look up at him. She turned a page, enthralled.

“Yes. Specifically, it focuses on different brain pathways and chemicals.”

She glanced up, cocking an eyebrow, a silent invitation for him to continue. She realized how often the two spoke with nonverbal communication, and she was sure if she continued to hang out with him, she’d be a master of body language by the end of the month.

He intertwined his fingers, his index tapping a few times in thought. “The book, I believe, was intended for medic- nins who wanted to specialize in neurosurgery.”

“ So what are  _ you _ using it for?”

Shino had the faintest smirk, but it was gone as soon as it came. “There are some...  _ improvements _ I'd like to make.”

Sensing a shift in the conversation, Sakura returned the book to the table, giving Shino her full attention. “I’m sure you will understand this, Sakura. You work with those who have experienced intense trauma, young and old, every day. You heal them, but I'm sure you have seen it. Even after they are better, they are different.”

Yes, she thought silently, she had seen it. She could remember it even when she was young, when Sasuke or Naruto would get seriously wounded and she’d go to visit them; they always had a distant look, tension in their shoulders. Their charts would be perfectly healthy, but in front of her told a different story. Now, she was around it all the time, to the point she was almost desensitized to it.

“I am not blind to things outside my circle,” he said, sounding almost scornful, “I have walked this village hundred of times, and I see it every day.”

“I remember the academy days well enough. As a kid, I didn’t care much, but that was my own selfishness. I was a clan kid, so I knew no matter what, I'd be treated well. It also meant I had a system outside of the school hours, a place I can turn to.”

Sakura's gut twisted with his words, an old sense of dread returning to the surface. She didn’t dwell much on her academy days anymore, mainly for her own sanity. She watched Shino intently, noticing the way his finger twitched with his words.

“I would like... to set our kids up better, for the future. I am aware of the hardships that will come from this, but--” Sakura was giddy, leaning forward with shining eyes; while she couldn’t meet his direct gaze, she could feel the concealed passion behind his glasses. He sighed, light and airy, as if his thoughts had suddenly derailed. “I read a term in the book, something along the lines of  _ mental health _ . I hope to implement a new system for students to help them cope with... the hardships. To start, at least.”

Sakura was glowing, beyond impressed by the man before her; he was truly someone underestimated, a person that others would easily overlook. He was quiet and withdrawn, seemingly, but if anyone got a chance to get to know him, they’d see a kind, genuine shinobi. Beneath it all, she felt a quiver of guilt at being one of those people. She wondered, as well, how many people she passed in her day to day life that was secretly brilliant, someone who just happened to be overlooked.

“Shino,” she breathed, a laugh escaping her. “You’re  _ amazing _ .”

He shrugged, perhaps off-put by her compliment. “I’ve already figured out a rough idea to start, but I'm  more so worried about how others will take it.”

“Don’t worry about that,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes as she returned to her food. “Tsunade will love the idea, and I'll back you, too.” She shoveled food into her mouth, momentarily remembering that she was  _ also _ on her lunch, and would probably have to be returning soon. “You know,” she said, swallowing her food, the back of her hand pressed against her lips as she tried to not choke. Probably should’ve chewed more. “we could set something up between the academy and the hospital.”

Shino tilted his head, and she cleared her throat before continuing. “We can follow your lead, set something up for others that aren’t in the academy,  ya ’ know? I can’t imagine what the  psych evals for  jounins are, but I'm sure it’s laughable. Not to mention other civilians, who have even less help in that department.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, the uncertainty tugging at her heart. Her eyes shined fierce, posture straightening as  a fire burned inside her.

“Absolutely, and I’ll back you every step of the way.”

He responded with a lopsided smile, genuine and hesitant, but he spoke with a sure tone: “Thank you.”

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The hospital was busy today, but Sakura took it in stride. She moved between patients with ease, hair pulled back and out of her face, sweat slipping down her temple as she poured her chakra into another patient. She had once questioned how they could remain busy, considering that most missions were peaceful, but given up on that. She knew that even in times of peace, there would always be danger lurking in the back.

She was wrapping up with a broken leg on a young boy when a nurse rushed to her side, asking for her immediate aid. The boy, a civilian who had fallen from a tree he climbed, grasped her doctor’s coat when she turned to leave. The nurse huffed, but Sakura waved her away. 

“You’ll be okay,” Sakura hummed, patting his head reassuringly. “But I have to go, ok? Others, like you, need me too.” Tearfully, he let her go, and she walked briskly towards the scene.

Entering a large operational room, Sakura knew immediately why she had been summoned; it was an identical makeup to the disaster from a few weeks ago: three  genin and their  jounin lead, all seriously hurt, covered in gashes and bleeding out. A vivid memory attempted to surface, but she pushed it down. This time, she was ready; she would not stand for failure.

“Check for poison,” she called out, walking over to a young girl with shallow breathing. Sakura pressed firm hands to her forehead and stomach, a blue glow taking effect quickly. No one questioned her, a nurse leaving to go fetch a poison expert; if she had time, she would think about how no one questioned her authority, basking in the pride that others trusted her that much. Instead, she kept her mind focused on the girl in front of her. While originally, she nearly missed it, this time she was prepared. She honed in on the poison instantly, taking a calming breath before beginning the process of breaking it down.

She considered removing it, knowing that they  _ should _ take a sample in order to create an antidote, but with the girl's injuries—Sakura knew she wouldn’t survive the procedure. Instead, she used her chakra to hunt any poison in her blood, willing the body to begin a complete breakdown of the substance. She used her own chakra as a cushion, acting as a shield that prevented contaminated blood from spreading further. When it was locked in place, she worked in tandem with the cells to decompose the foreign substance. While she did this, her other hand worked on the other injuries, moving from the deep cut to the severe burns. For anyone less skilled, this multitasking would be impossible; even talented medics would struggle with having to balance two extremely difficult and focus-demanding jutsus, most likely faltering and screwing up.

But Sakura was not just anyone—she was the best.

With minimal poison left, she was confident that the natural process of healing would be able to clean up the rest of her work, and Sakura called over a nurse to take her place in finishing up with the other injuries. She would live, Sakura knew, and would live well.

The poison expert was there now, focusing his time on the  jounin ; unlike before, the  jounin didn’t have the most serious injuries, and Sakura understood that he would hopefully be able to survive the poison extraction. So instead, she moved to a boy nearby who was bleeding from his ears and nose; his left leg was charred, right arm snapped at the elbow, his eyes open but glazed over. With no hesitation or fear, she placed both hands on his head. The poison would kill him, but not before the brain damage did. 

“Stay  with us,” she whispered to him, although she was certain he had blacked out long ago.

The brain trauma was worse than she expected, but didn’t let it phase her. She thought of the book Shino had, how he was studying the brain to help others, and wondered what damage like this would do to someone. Her chakra was warm and comforting, wrapping itself around the damaged area as she meticulously worked on the brain tissue and blood vessels, feeling the sense of dread slowly slipping away as everything began to heal. Unlike with other injuries, she knew she couldn’t leave it half-healed, and stayed until she could detect no other physical damage.

Would this boy benefit from Shino’s mental health research, she wondered? These injuries were brutal, traumatic for someone untrained; if he had someone who could help him through the healing process, he would be better off. After the physical ailments were gone, who would be there for him?

She moved on, mimicking her procedure from earlier; she was vicious in her hunt for poison, pinpointing a large amount in his stomach. Curious, as he had no deep wound in that area, but figured that was to be dealt with later. With her hands on his stomach, she trapped the poison from spreading, systematically breaking down the chemicals in the poison until the lethal components were nonexistent. He would feel sick, intense nausea, and migraines, but he would survive. A doctor joined her, working on the worst of the outward injuries, and she left him to his work.

The third  genin was awake, surprisingly, tears falling freely from his cheeks as he attempted to lay still for the doctors. “You’re doing great,” Sakura told him, voice soft; she ran a soothing hand through his hair, smiling at him like a mother would her child. “You and your team will survive,” she told him with utmost confidence, her other hand coming up to his forehead. “Please rest now.”

He did, eyes fluttering shut as she put him into a deep induced sleep. 

He had the most poison out of the other two, and Sakura knew she would struggle to cage it all. So instead, she focused on prepping him for an extraction, healing his internal injuries quickly. She spared a glance to their squad leader, the poison expert notably absent; she hadn’t noticed him leave but assumed it had been a success, and was now working on an antidote. Okay, she thought, she just had to keep him alive long enough to take the antidote, and then keep him stable while it did its work. She took a deep breath, steeling herself, and returned to tending to him.

When she could, Sakura attempted to break down the poison that came too close to the area she was healing. It didn’t seem to help, though, as it would be replaced by more poison shortly after. She didn’t want to question the poison expert, but it had been over twenty minutes and he hadn’t returned; Sakura knew that if they didn’t have something soon, the boy would either live with  permanent damage or not live at all.

She had done her best, healing the major damage first, another medic at her side to help with the lesser of injuries. As she had predicted, one of them told her how the poison expert had left with the sample and was in the works of creating an antidote. She didn’t respond, not wanting to allocate the energy to even nod. She poured herself into her work, chakra tracing his veins and pathways, attempting to strengthen the weakening internal network. 

Another five minutes later, the poison expert returned, a blue vial in hand. She could always laugh, but resisted, watching as he injected the liquid into the boy’s neck, right side, and left thigh. With her hands still on him, she could feel the poison beginning to rapidly dissipate. She almost felt relieved, but something in her gut told her something wasn’t  _ right _ .

“What was it?” She asked the poison expert, whose eyes darted along the boy’s frame.

“A rare herb, only found in the Land of Earth.”

“Which one?”

The expert shot her a glance, cocking an eyebrow. Clearly, he underestimated her; that, or he assumed she was just interested in the details. 

“It’s nicknamed  _ Empty Well, _ but the technical term is--”

The boy was crashing. Her head snapped down, feeling his body alight beneath her. His blood was molten, his heart beating erratically, causing his blood to pump faster. She swore out loud, doctors joining her as they attempted to sedate it. Glowing hands covered him, all attempting to slow the ravaging happening inside of him. He awoke from the sleep, screaming out in pain. 

Time felt slow to her, her heart pounding in her throat as she watched all their work equating to nothing. This poison  _ expert  _ clearly didn’t know shit, or missed something extremely crucial. Sakura knew, deep down, it wasn’t his fault. Whoever created this poison most likely knew what they were doing, intentionally setting this up. Still, it didn’t quell her anger. She was pissed.

And scared, she knew, as she watched the boy beginning to fade before her eyes. Her mind raced, wondering what she else she could do to help. What could  _ she _ do that others couldn’t? Call Tsunade? No—she couldn’t. She was just as good, if not better; she knew this. She knew everything her sensei did, she just had to apply it. With sweating palms, she swallowed hard. 

“Back up,” she barked, voice rough. They hesitated, all looking her way. She could almost scream, frustration bubbling up. “Back.  _ UP _ .”

They did, everyone taking a step back to allow her to work. Sakura pressed a finger over the skin that protected the heart, and in a smooth motion, cut with perfect precision. The doctors gaped at her, watching as she slipped her fingers into the cut. Blood spilled freely as she moved, and Sakura gestured with her free hand for someone to join her; a doctor opposite was the first to step up, hands on both sides of her own, healing the wound and helping keep the blood down.

It was a disgusting feeling, being inside someone. She pretended to not feel the blood soaking her skin, not notice how everything around her hand thrummed and pressed against her. Sakura’s hand was gone to the eyes of the room, but inside the body, it glowed with constant healing chakra to keep everything in place. Gently, Sakura’s fingers graced the boy’s heart; she steadied herself, knowing what she was about to do would either completely kill him, or would be the only reason for his survival. She formed her chakra into a sphere-like shape, engulfing the heart; in the same motion, she separated it from the rest of the body, enacting a chakra barrier, effectively keeping it beating but not directing blood flow.

“Begin extraction,” she said through grit teeth, eyebrows furrowing as she concentration. The technique, something she had never done before, required her complete attention. Any mistake would certainly shut down his heart, or make it irreparable. Her goal right now was to keep the heart  _ alive _ , but not pump blood through the system. She hoped that by doing slow, stopped the poison from spreading so quickly; while the other medics could focus on removing the poison, Sakura could slowly begin to mend the other internal damage. 

Her free hand moved to his gut, pressing into his skin; she used her chakra to help the slow process, and once satisfied, began to repair his most hurt organs. The doctors were quick after her call, doing their best to remove the poison from inside him while Sakura did her best to fix things as they went. She knew it was a tight time frame, and every few minutes she would lift her hand to send pulses to the brain, tricking it into believing the heart was still alive.

The procedure took about twenty minutes, but felt like hours. When enough poison had been removed, Sakura broke the barrier and helped his heart get back on track; by now, it beat at an average rate—maybe a bit slow, but nothing she couldn’t fix. She moved her hands across his vital areas, both checking for any other serious damage while also encouraging healthy blood flow. It was another ten minutes before Sakura finally separated herself, a nurse taking her spot to finish up anything else.

Her head was spinning, but she looked as collected as ever. She made a b-line for the nearest lockable room, adrenaline-pumping wildly through her veins. She blinked rapidly to keep tears from falling, although it wasn’t from anger or sadness—just a sudden urge to cry. Sakura snuck into an empty storage closet, finally exhaling. She resisted the urge to run her hands through her hair, knowing they were caked with blood, and pressed her back against the wall. She closed her eyes, steadying herself in the dark. It wasn’t that Sakura wasn’t impressed or happy; it was the opposite. She was beyond proud of herself for her quick thinking and skill, and she knew she was the reason the kid was going to wake up again.

Something stirred in her though, something she couldn’t quite place. She was sure she could shake herself and stay longer, finish her shift and whatnot, but decided against it. She would take an early day, go home and shower, and get a good night’s sleep for tomorrow. If they needed her, they could always summon her back early; with another shake of her head, she left the room to inform the others.

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How did Shino do it? He seemed it have it all figured out; a clear plan in place, an end goal in mind. He knew what he wanted, and what was going to do to reach it. But her? She couldn’t even get past step one! Sakura studied her hands, lifting them above her face and staring into palms. She could do so much, and yet— _ and yet _ , she was stuck. Her mind flashed to the hospital, the phantom feeling of her hands entering the boy’s chest ghosting over her skin; she could feel the familiar warmth of chakra engulfing her hand, although her hand remained plain. Her eyes fluttered shut as she took a deep breath, her hands dropping back to her side.

It was the right call. It had bought her enough time to slow the poison and keep him alive, although it was... against protocol, so to speak. Tsunade wouldn’t say anything to her, she knew; a medic had to use their skills and knowledge to make sure a patient lived. If it had gone differently, she could imagine the blonde breaking down her door to strangle her as she slept. Danger is only acceptable if the outcome is positive. Sakura rolled onto her side, beginning to lose herself in thought. So, what if she removed the “danger” aspect of a procedure? Or, instead, made it more dangerous for herself?

She was confident in herself to live, and if anything went horribly wrong, she could also use her yin seal as a last resort. It wasn’t enough to heal fast, or heal well.  _ What if _ , Sakura thought,  _ I could make a  _ _ jutsu _ _ that transfers injuries? _

She was up suddenly, crossing her room with a straight back and determined eyes. She grabbed a pair of pants and slid them over her shorts, snatching up just a few things before leaving her house and heading to the hidden library. She couldn’t recall any  jutsu exactly like it, although she was sure there was something similar. How would one even “transfer” an injury to a different person? Still, it was a start, and she felt confident in her ability to build from it.

Sakura arrived at the building shortly after, her inspiration making her feel light on her feet. The doors and windows were locked, unsurprisingly, but Sakura was not just anybody. She circled the building until she found a window that she recognized to be closest to the entrance, pausing to glance around her. Certain the streets were empty, Sakura gently placed her hand on the top right corner of the window before guiding it down, sliding it across the bottom, moving back up, before lastly meeting where she started. Her chakra left the faintest blue color, and after a few  hand signs , she heard the lock inside click. 

With a smirk, Sakura slid the window open and crawled inside, certain she looked insane. She was glad there was no around to watch her unceremoniously flop on the floor inside, huffing to herself. She spread her chakra out as subtly as possible to scan the building, but as she had assumed, it was empty (unless a person was exceptional at hiding their chakra, but she doubted it. They had better use for their resources rather than have them babysit a building.) Satisfied, she crept until she found the hidden entrance, and descended.

She took the stairs three at a time, nearly sprinting down the narrow hallway until she spotted the familiar gentle lighting. Sakura peaked around hesitantly, her anxiety doubting that this place was actually empty, but as she walked the aisles, she forced those thoughts down. No, even if someone found her, she didn’t think many people would question her. If they found the unlocked window and came down, but saw her buried in medical books, they would wave her off. She knew this. Most of the shinobi in the city knew of her in one way or another; a small smile gracing her lips as she lifted her hand to use the glow to guide her.

Sakura could remember when she was younger and Tsunade first allowed her to work in the hospital. It wasn’t the most fun, and quite honestly, she was annoyed; at the time, it was only for a few days a week and for a couple of hours, but she still grumbled. Of course, Tsunade’s  _ insistence _ was a fierce glare, and Sakura kept her mouth shut. Sakura snorted to herself as she scanned the book titles, grabbing whichever ones jumped out at her. Now look at her—she was more than full time at said hospital. Her whole identity was basically “best doctor around”, and she wore it proudly.

She headed back to her  table, six heavy books being carried with ease. As she spread the books back out, another ghost smile appeared. While she was young, it didn’t take long for people to remember her—probably thanks to the hair, she laughed inwardly. Shinobi she had healed for minor injuries would spot her outside of work, waving to her; the first few times had caught her off guard, unsure of what to make of the attention. When she became more skilled, healing more serious injuries, people began to invite her out to celebrate their missions. Sakura had mentioned it to Tsunade, whose laughter filled the room.

_ “Are you thick, Sakura? _ ” She had asked, mischief sparkling in her eyes. 

Her words echoed in her head, a quiet laugh also escaping her at the memory. While she considered herself pretty smart, she seemed to also be oblivious to many things—these shinobi were noticing her because of her skill. They praised her, remembered her, backed her. It was something she never really got from the original team 7, and it made her glow. To be acknowledged... it felt good. Sakura grabbed the first book and flipped it open, recognizing a page that had an ever-so-slight bend at the corner to mark her where she left off.

_ “Getting to know your fellow shinobi is important,” Tsunade told her, leaning back in her seat.  _ Sakura in the present flipped another page, reading on.  _ “Shinobi are used to being faceless, just another number. They're used to only their team knowing them. But, ironically, they remember others.” The blonde lifted a porcelain cup to her lips, sipping it slowly.  _

_ “A medic sees everything. Most are trained to also forget, doing a job and moving on--” she paused to turn and look directly at Sakura, who’s back straightened in response. “What was the last patient you healed?” _

_ Sakura tilted her head, thinking; she hadn’t worked in the hospital for over a week, pulled onto a mission with Ino’s group. “A man named Kenji,” Sakura started, searching her memory. “It was a training accident. He didn’t react fast enough and a sword pierced his upper thigh.” _

_ Tsunade looked pleased, a knowing smirk crossing her face. “Most medics couldn’t answer that,” she told her point black. “Only the most important patients are remembered.” _

_ Sakura made a face, and Tsunade laughed. “That’s what makes you special, Sakura. That’s why these shinobi like  _ _ you. _ _ ”  _ In the present, Sakura read a page about a particular  jutsu involving lightning release to restart hearts; she wished she could utilize such a technique, it sounded intriguing.  _ “You know...” Tsunade hummed, refilling her glass. “If you wanted, you could make an excellent Hokage.” _

_ “Don’t say that,” Sakura reacted automatically, flushing. Tsunade scoffed. _

_ “I know it’s Naruto’s dream, and I’m sure he will be an excellent  _ _ Hokage _ _ one day, but...” The conversation’s tone shifted, suddenly more serious. Sakura stared at something on her desk, unable to meet her gaze. “I’m just saying, you have the potential too. And I think you’d be surprised how many people would already be willing to back you.” _

Sakura sighed, shaken from her thoughts. To this day, she wasn’t sure what Tsunade had been implying. Of course, there was the obvious; go for gold, compete with Naruto to become  Hokage . Yet, as Sakura recalled it, it felt there was something underneath their conversation—like Tsunade was trying to tell her something, but not directly. A puzzle. She shook her head, going back to her reading. Tsunade was always someone who was blunt and to the point, something Sakura admired. Maybe that’s why the conversation seemed stuck with her.

Unsatisfied with the one book, she set it down and leaned back in the chair. Her mind was busy with memories, finding it difficult to truly focus on her task at hand. She stood abruptly, feeling antsy just sitting around, and decided to walk through the different aisles of books. She lifted her hand to help illuminate the area around her, but purposely avoided the medical section. She wondered if it would be worth her time to also study other subjects. She didn’t do much with ninjutsu or anything else, and while it had always intrigued her, she had shelved most of those desires. Being a medic had taken all of her time and energy, and that’s why she was the best.

But now? She was still young, she could still learn—of course, she would have the issue of not really having a teacher. Kakashi, maybe? Sakura shook her head at the thought, dismissing it. He was busy prepping to become the next  Hokage ; besides, while she loved the man, he hadn’t been the best teacher for her. Perhaps they were incompatible, but she knew if she approached him, she would just leave annoyed. Sakura let her fingers run across the spines of the book, gently gliding as she walked. She stilled when a particular caught her eye--- _ The Rise and Fall of  _ _ Uzushiogakure _ .

The name sounded familiar, but she struggled to pinpoint where exactly she remembered it. Intrigued, she pulled the book from the shelf and shuffled quickly back to her reading point. At the table, she allowed herself to get comfortable in the otherwise stiff chair, leaning back and propping a leg up against the table. She wondered absently what time it was outside, and in that same thought, how screwed she was going to be tomorrow morning. Sakura shrugged it off, opening the book resting in her lap.

Interestingly, this book had a table of contents; many books she had come across didn’t have any indication in the beginning what one was about to get into, except more “official” books, and especially not those hidden in the ninjutsu section. She assumed it was because this book was more history- esque , but glancing over the different chapters led her to think something else. While the beginning was certainly involved with the history, the later chapters seemed to be broken down instead by famous abilities and persons. A particular name caught her attention, and for a heartbeat, she was fixated on a  _ quite _ familiar word: Uzumaki. More specifically, a chapter on the Uzumaki Clan.

Sakura immediately flipped to it—the second chapter—but paused as before she started to delve in. She had to remind herself that she was here for something specific, and she could always circle back to it; still, she was fighting the urge to start here, wanting to learn everything about this clan. She weighed her options mentally, the two sides of her brain debating each other, but ultimately gave into the rational side of herself. She would focus on the task at hand and later would round back to read about the history of the Uzuamki clan. 

Fuinjutsu had always been something that seemed interesting, but was always out of reach; of course, she dabbled in it—summoning contracts, storage scrolls, et cetera. That was all basic shinobi stuff, though; here, she read about how this village was so feared in their prowess it was destroyed. Which made sense, as the name didn’t ring much of a bell to her (although another name did in fact sound familiar, she pretended not to notice). 

She continued on, reading about the potential of their  fuinjutsu ; a master of their craft had unlimited potential, able to extend this ability into other categories such as medical ninjutsu (this one caught her eye the most),  genjutsu , and other things. She thought about  Shizune and her full-blown Healing Regeneration Technique, including all the intricate formulas painted on the floor. She herself had learned a way to adapt it without that, but Tsunade told her that it was a form of  fuinjutsu in its purest form.

Altering already present cells into other cells—that was the basis of it, although it was much more complex. The technique involved basically reworking one’s cellular makeup, was extremely chakra-taxing, and tended to take hours. She wondered if she could somehow take this technique and impellent it into hers? Perhaps, she could trade her healthy cells for the ones in the body—effectively taking on their injuries?

Oh, but that sounded hard. Well, not  _ hard _ , but more so unrealistic. Still, it was somewhere to start. Either way, she continued reading, particularly fond of the idea of a ninjutsu combination—according to the book, those talented enough could lay traps that would activate merely with a single misstep. Another section talked about how a proper  fuinjutsu could trap someone in a  genjutsu indefinitely, even if they broke free. These, of course, were all extremely high ranking  jutsus ; not meant for the common shinobi. At the same time, it was these reasons why the hidden village was so feared. 

There were numerous other abilities listed, although most of them were vague—unfortunately, due to the annihilation of their home, many of these expert techniques had been lost to the time. The book mentioned rumors of buried treasures and libraries—which made Sakura snort—protected by the remaining seals. These were just rumors, though; many people had scavenged the area, and most came back with nothing. Villages had sent in their best, and come out empty-handed.

Sakura could feel herself tempted to flip back to the Uzumaki chapter, her thoughts straying as she read the vaguest articles; however, as she began to run her fingers over the pages, a passage caught her eye. The word “body” and “freeze” really stuck out to her, and she paused to read it:

_ There’s reported evidence that those belonging to  _ _ Uzushiogakure _ _ were attempting to create a new  _ _ fuinjutsu _ _ that involved going against the natural force of things; some say this is a large reason that lead to their destruction. From old texts, it seemed they were trying to create a trap that, when activated, caused a person to become suspended in time. Their reasoning for this  _ _ jutsu _ _ is unclear, but it is assumed to be a way to hold prisoners. They had a handful of trial and error runs, but it’s suspected they didn’t make much progress. The  _ _ jutsu _ _ was supposedly shelved, according to notes. _

Sakura’s mind was spinning at the possibilities, but more so, how this had basically been served to her on a gold platter. She couldn’t believe they had shelved such a potentially strong  jutsu , especially one that would’ve worked extremely well for torture. Then again, from reading it, it sounded extremely difficult—after all, how does one create a  jutsu that slows the time for a single person, without inevitably distorting everything else around them? It went against the very laws of nature, no matter which way one looked at it.

Not that that would stop her, of course.

Sakura was nothing but stubborn; her hands shook with anticipation, mouth salivating at the idea of being the one to pick up this abandoned  jutsu and make her own. She could capitalize on what they had, of course, build off their foundation—but she would make it her own, something that far surpassed what they had tried for. Sakura’s eyes sparkled in the dark, giddy at the possibilities. Time was the hardest devil to beat, and one that many medics fell to. However, a  jutsu that removed such a factor? Oh, it would be  _ invaluable _ . Plus, once she got the basics down, imagine what other things she could put it for?

The main problem was this: she knew only the bare basics of  fuinjutsu , and didn’t know a master she could turn to for advice. On top of that, all evidence of said  jutsu had supposedly been destroyed. She let out an annoyed sigh, pushing the book across the table. She felt like she was back to square one!  _ Although _ ... Sakura bit her lip, running an anxious hand through her hair. Just because no one else had found these mysteries, probably-not-there libraries, didn’t mean she couldn’t look for them? Maybe they just weren’t looking in the right place?

One thing was for sure, though—whether she liked it or not, Sakura needed help; someone she could trust, at least for the most part. Someone who would be able to keep this on the down-low for her, or didn’t care enough to tell anyone anyways. Basically, it meant she would have to ask someone outside of the village. Unfortunately, she had the perfect person in mind.  _ Ugh _ . This was going to be trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um another fun fact, i don't understand how healing chakra works, so i am therefore taking artistic liberties hehe. thanks for reading, and i've appreciated all the comments & kudos so far!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
> 
> also hokage sakura? 👀 kinda sexy if u ask me
> 
> kisses


	4. Goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is having a good week! I, unfortunately, had to get covid tested today sooo fingers crossed!
> 
> When I say how excited I am for the upcoming chapters... PHEW. this chapter has once again gone past my soft word limit, but it's fine. i have a feeling these short chapters will continue to be hard for me to keep up, as i like to just never shut the hell up ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Anyways, enjoy <3

It had been two weeks since Sakura had made her decision to seek outside help, but she had yet to make a move on it; while she wished she could easily take the time off, she wasn’t an idiot. People here needed her. Every day presented a new task, a new obstacle that had others turning towards her for guidance. While she enjoyed the feeling of being needed, and that others knew she was skilled enough to be relied upon, it was also frustrating having to babysit so many people she  _ knew _ were capable. Sakura could understand now why Tsunade was always agitated when she had to go down to the hospital—abuse of a resource, so to speak.

Sakura had also been particularly involved in the random poisoning case, although that didn’t surprise her. Not only had she been the medic present for both reported incidents, but more importantly, Sakura was a low-key expert on poisons and antidotes. When she had been taught by Tsunade, she had taken like a fish to water—even more so than being a medic (much to  Shizune’s pleasure). To her, poisons were a fun (albeit dangerous) game of mix and match, and she had always been good at memory games. While Tsunade hadn’t directly told Sakura, she hypothesized that the  Hokage sensed something else with these attacks as well. So, her goal was to create both an antidote that wouldn’t shut down the victim’s body, while also trying to unravel the mystery of who was behind these attacks; she knew that if she could figure out the poison, it would be a pretty safe bet to figure out who was creating it.

“You seem distracted,” Shino said absently, leaning back in his chair as he stared out the nearby window. 

Sakura shook herself mentally and smiled, offering him a light shrug. “Yeah, a little bit.”

It was another development from the past two weeks: the two had lunch often, with sometimes Shino showing up during her hospital rounds, and her coming to visit him at the academy. The two had a fondness for takeout, although once Shino had surprised her with something home-cooked. At her insistence, he admitted that his mother had caught wind of him “wooing” (her words) the local head medic, prized pupil of the Hokage, and all but forced him to deliver a proper meal (although he also told her it was because of all the hard work she was doing, and their clan wanted to show their appreciation—it didn’t stop her smirking, however). 

She had snorted at the thought, and Shino was clearly annoyed at his mother’s attempts to wiggle into his love life. Still, it had been the first real meal she had had in a few days, and it was delicious. When she had told Shino to send her thanks and appreciation, she watched his eyebrow ever-so-slightly twitch.

Now, the two sat in a familiar office, boxes of lunched stacked nearly to the side; they had been talking about nothing in particular, Sakura inquiring about how his plans were going, to which  Shino had replied he was waiting to receive a letter from T&I. At some point, Sakura’s mind must’ve wandered, although she  couldn't recall when.

“You know,” Shino started again, still  unmeeting her, “this program doesn’t just extend to youth.”

Sakura tilted her head, having the distinct feeling that he was peering at her from the corner of his vision. She knew where he was going with this, but refused to give him the satisfaction. “I know a lot of shinobi that would benefit from it,” she replied with an easy smile.

He didn’t take the bait, her response drawing a sigh from him. He turned in his chair to face her, the subtle hint of a scowl: “you know what I meant.”

She did, and she nodded. “I know.”

“It’s just an option,” his hand extended towards a familiar book, his fingers ghosting across it. “Something to consider.”

“I think I already know too much about the process, though. I could game it,” she gave him a cheeky smile, but the way his shoulders remained rigid made it falter. 

“Then it is a failed system.”

Sakura rubbed the back of her neck quietly, contemplating what to say. It would probably do not just her, but others well to take part in the program. She was, by far, not the worst case out there—however, it would look better if Sakura was a willing participant. Either way, in this context, he was directing it straight at her, indirectly implying that she may  _ perhaps _ have something else going on. Just because she was zoning out, of all things? She was a busy person, certainly overworked, of course she would sometimes be out of it! Sakura stared hard at the book, thinking of what she could say to diffuse the situation. It was Shino that beat her to it though, moving the conversation along to diffuse the tension.

“There is something that I would like to ask you.”

“Oh?” She broke her look from the book, finally able to meet his covered eyes. He nodded, lifting the book with one hand and bringing it to his lap. He began to flip through it slowly, not really reading anything in particular.

“I have read in here about different chemicals and how they react in relation to our emotions. Similar to how  genjutsu works against our minds, I was considering something similar to that...” he paused, getting up to wander over to a nearby bookshelf. She watched him with intent, curiosity eating her up. She was always a sucker for a challenge.

“I noticed a reoccurring theme in that book, so I began to search elsewhere for it as well--” he studied the numerous books before pulling out a slightly worn green one, tucking it in one hand as he kept searching. “There is a particular chemical that has a profound impact on things such as our mood, sleep, and memory.”

“I am unsure of the proper procedures here, but... I was thinking that there may, perhaps, be a way to boost these. I don’t know the technicalities, but...” 

Sakura couldn’t hide her distaste, mouth twisting into a frown. “You want me to make a  _ drug _ ?”

“Yes, but not what you are thinking. First of all, it would be voluntary. We would start every participant on a small dosage, and customize it per person. I believe it would help with the chemical imbalance many shinobi face.” 

Sakura was unconvinced, so he continued on. He pulled another book from the shelf before returning to his seat across from her, setting the books between them; she didn't take them but noted the names to look into them on her own time later.

“It’s not like alcohol or other drugs; the goal is not  short-term relief, and does not affect the nervous system so drastically. From my understanding, although limited, this wouldn’t induce effects like being intoxicated or high would.”

Sakura let out a deep breath, leaning back in her seat as she took it in. “And I’m the only one that can do it.”

“You’re the only one I can trust.”

Well, fuck. Sakura gave him a look, and while she wished she could call him on his bullshit—she knew he was genuine. Again,  _ fuck _ . “Fine,” she breathed, running a hand through her hair. “But you owe me one.”

He nodded to hurt, his shoulders  _ finally _ relaxing. 

Sakura didn’t stay much longer after that, Shino offering to finish cleaning up so she could return to work. He told her that once he had more information, he would reach out to her—until then, he told her to just act normally with him, as if he hadn’t just asked her to take on a huge project. Poisons were something, but what he was asking for was... something else. She couldn’t hold it against him, though; she also knew that he only had people’s best interests in mind.

Damn that sweet, pure-hearted boy! Sakura was swearing under her breath, not paying attention when she bumped shoulders with someone. She immediately apologized but was stopped when a loud laugh shook in her ears. Naruto grinned at her, bright as the sun itself, and Sakura’s words got caught in her throat.

“Sakura!” He laughed again, opening his arms for a hug (she noticed that he once again had two arms, but said nothing). Sakura accepted his warmth, her arms going low around her stomach while he pulled her into a fierce bear hug. “I was waving at you but you didn’t even look up!”

“Ahh,” she flushed, pulling back. “I’m sorry!” 

“It's okay, Sakura- chan ! I know you’re probably just overthinking something,” he snickered, his tone holding no malice.  _ Bastard _ . 

“You just know me too well, huh?” She said, rolling her eyes. “What have you been up to? I haven’t seen you around recently.”

He stuck his tongue out teasingly, crossing his arms dramatically across his chest. “That’s because you’re always busy.”

“Fair, fair,” she laughed, lifting her hands up in defeat. 

“But really, Sakura—we should catch up sometime, okay?” He said, a wave of seriousness coming over him. “I know you’re really important and have a lot of stuff going on, but don’t forget about me, or Kakashi, or Sai, Yamato... or anyone!”

Sakura put on her best smile, but Naruto’s stare was intense, and she faltered. Instead of making some excuse, which is what her instincts told her to do, she nodded. “Okay,” she replied, reaching up to ruffle the top of his hair. “But I  _ do _ have to get back to work...”

Naruto nodded, his usual demeanor returning. He looked as he did before, grinning like the loveable idiot he was, chest puffing out. “Let’s do this weekend, okay?”

“Uh--” 

He was already walking away, waving his goodbye before she could break the news to him.  _ Fuck _ , for a third time today. She guessed she’d have to clear her schedule this weekend, knowing that Naruto would raise hell if she didn’t make an appearance. Despite the initial agitation, her heart was warm, and she couldn’t shake the faint smile as she finished her walk back to the hospital.

//////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// ////////

She hadn’t even realized it was the weekend until she overheard a few nurses discussing what they were going to do this Saturday. Sakura had politely interjected that  _ actually, it was Thursday _ , when the nurses exchanged glances. It took only a second before Sakura was sprinting out of the room, hauling ass to beg Tsunade to give her last-minute time off so she could keep her promise to Naruto. She had burst open into the  Hokage’s room, ready to plead her case, when an extremely intoxicated Tsunade scoffed.

“A little late, don’t you think?”

“I--” Sakura flushed, back straightening. “I thought it was Thursday!” 

Sakura’s shriek made the blonde erupt in laughter, throwing her head back in unbridled laughter. “Well, it’s a good thing Naruto actually has  _ his _ head attached,” she snorted, flipping hair off her shoulder. “He stopped in a few days ago and demanded I give you the weekend off.”

So here she was now, ripping apart her closet to find something half decent to wear. She had taken the fastest shower of her life, hair currently wrapped in a soft, pastel blue towel. Sakura knew the boys wouldn’t care what she looked like, but she figured if she was going out—might as well look nice. In the end, with clothes scattered around her and across her bed, she decided on a simple fold-over dark green skirt, a short-sleeved black turtle neck tucked in. Her hair was pulled out of her face with a gold clip, one Ino had gifted her some time ago, and she slipped on black flats to match. She was tentatively reaching for her makeup kit when a determined knock shook her.

Sakura slid to the door, grinning wide when she saw Naruto there. “Sakura, you look so pretty!” He beamed, extending an arm towards her.

“Thank you,” she laughed, hooking her own arm through his. “Who taught you manners, huh?”

The flush on his cheeks wasn’t unnoticed, nor did Sakura decided to say anything; he had a sheepish grin, one that made her own grow wider. “Hinata,” he giggled, rubbing the back of his head. Sakura blinked, unaware the two had been spending time together.  _ Good for her,  _ Sakura laughed internally. 

The two chatted away, Sakura easily falling back into a routine with him; it had been, what, a couple of months since they talked? She had been busy with the hospital, and he was busy with...  everything else. From what she had heard in passing, and what he was telling her now, he had been working with Sasuke to figure out this whole “redemption” thing, as well as taking on numerous missions. 

“I did see Sai the other day,” Sakura mentioned offhandedly, Naruto’s head snapping to her. They were approaching  Ichiraku quickly, which only made her chest bubble with more warmth: just like the good  ol ’ days. 

“What!?” Naruto shrieked, drawing eyes. Sakura batted his arm playfully, making him flush; he curled his lips inside, staring at her intently. She got the hint.

“It was Ino’s idea, a double date. She set me up with Shino.”

“A date? With  _ Shino _ !?”

Sakura laughed, using her weight to shove him. He stumbled a bit, their arms still intertwined, and he pouted. “Sakura! How could you be going on dates?”

“And what about you and Hinata”

Naruto flushed, glancing away. “It’s not anything like  _ that _ ...”

Sakura raised an eyebrow, and he looked even further to the side. “Is that so?”

He huffed, mumbling something under his breath as they came up to the entrance of the ramen shop. She giggled, releasing herself from his grasp but not before jabbing two fingers into his side. “Can’t wait to see what new thing you’ll show me when we talk after another three months.”

“Wha-- Sakura! Don’t say that!” He whined, Sakura cackling as she dipped under the cloth covering the entrance. The smell of food hit her hard and she noted how hungry she actually was; did she even eat today? It was hard to say. 

Before Sakura could adjust to her new surroundings, her eyes fell on a very full counter. Ino whirled around, grinning wildly, getting up and throwing her arms around the rosette’s shoulders. Sakura returned the gesture, although her face gave away her clear confusion. Her eyes darted from one side of the building to the other, noting that basically all of her peers were here.

“What is this?” She asked, totally stumped. Ino giggled, dragging her towards the counter. 

“Naruto didn’t tell you?” She gaped, shooting a glare at Naruto as he entered. He shrunk under the blonde’s fierce glare, shrugging as he tiptoed down a few seats to sit near Sai and Kakashi. Ino turned her attention back to Sakura, rolling her eyes. “Well, whatever. You’ll find out soon enough!”

Never a good sign, Sakura knew. Then again, the first time Ino hadn’t given her crucial information turned out pretty successfully, so... what was the harm in trusting? Sakura decided it was best to ignore the way her gut was beginning to knot, tossing it up to just hunger pains, and ordered herself something to eat.

The restaurant was loud, packed to the brim with her fellow shinobi. Sakura tried to eat as fast as she could, noting that people were beginning to laugh and mingle. Taking everything in, she saw  Tenten and Lee approaching Kiba and Hinata,  Shikamaru leaning against the nearby wall grumbling something under his breath. Naruto and  Choji were having an apparent food contest, bowls quickly stacking up. Sakura did her best to give Ino her attention between bites, listening about the last date Sai had taken her on (“ _ it was beyond romantic!” _ ). Kakashi, Yamato, Might Guy, and a very pregnant Kurenai sat in a booth near a window, talking amongst themselves. As Sakura scanned her surroundings, her eyes landed on Shino, who stood close to his team, hands in pocket.

Shino seemed to sense her gaze, head shifting just enough to glance her way, and she smiled. Although he didn’t return it—not that she expected him too—he did nod his own hello. “How did Naruto manage to wrangle everyone up like this?” Sakura finally asked, Ino flushing. 

“Well--”

She was cut off by Naruto jumping up, chanting loudly as he scurried out of the building. Only a few seconds later did he reappear, Sasuke tucked underneath his arm. The man looked as emotionless as before, a neutral look even as Naruto yelled his entrance. Sakura stared, only blinking when she felt Ino politely nudge ger. She turned back to the blonde, forcing a smile. “Ah, I see now.”

Ino gave her a look, a perfect blonde eyebrow arching. “You don’t look too happy,” she commented quietly, and Sakura just shrugged.

“Ah, I just didn’t know he was back...”   


“Naruto said he was arriving tonight,” Ino told her, leaning against the counter. The blonde gave Sakura a worried look, but she waved her off.

“I won’t make it weird.”

“You already are, Forehead.”

Sakura shrugged, knowing Ino’s words weren’t meant to be as cutting as they were. She could tell by her posture that Ino was just worried, and Sakura kicked the girl’s leg to shake her. “Jeez, come on,” Sakura goaded, Ino rolling her eyes but ultimately smirking and shoving her back.

“If you need to dip, let me know, I’m an  _ excellent _ actress.”

Sakura laughed, pushing up from her seat to go rip off the band-aid: might as well talk to Sasuke and get it over with. The dark-haired man was surrounded by others; Sai, Kiba, and  Shikamaru somehow teleporting to his side. Naruto laughed loudly, echoing across the room, and she felt suddenly intimidated to join them. Swallowing her  fear the best she could, she stepped next to  Shikamaru , who didn’t even glance her way when he moved to make room. She gave him an appreciative smile, him shrugging in response.

She had imagined that her joining them would go mostly unnoticed, assuming Sasuke would barely give her a glance, although he didn’t seem too keen with the others anyway. Instead, she met his dark eyes straight on, a lopsided smile crawling onto her face. “Welcome back, Sasuke,” she spoke, unable to stop how gentle it came out.

It felt like he was staring straight through her, and after a few seconds of silence between them, he nodded. “Thank you,” he spoke directly to her, and she almost buckled underneath his gaze. She blinked, clearly surprised, but shook herself.

“How did Naruto rope you into coming tonight?” She asked, truly testing her luck tonight. Her eyes burned just looking at him, but she forced through her discomfort. He was... different. Still missing an arm, still closed off, but somehow—dare she say—soft. It was almost more unsettling to see him this way. Either way, her smile became more natural, her shoulders relaxing. It was good to see him healing in his own way.

“Didn’t have much of a choice,” Sasuke said blandly, Naruto saying something loudly next to him, arm stepped thrown over his shoulder. She snorted, and he gave her the slightest smile. She pretended not to choke on her own spit.

“He’s just happy you’re back,” she offered, and he shrugged.

“Just for the night.”

“Really?” She asked, surprised. He nodded.

“I am merely checking in with... Tsunade, per request.”

Sakura wondered why Tsunade hadn’t said anything to her about this but guessed it was because Tsunade loved causing drama. She was sure the next time Sakura ran into her, the blonde would have a familiar glint in her eye, ready to drill into her about the encounter.

“Well, hopefully, we won’t keep you up too late,” she laughed, and he nodded. 

“Do you like the surprise, Sakura?” Naruto cut in suddenly, his grin spreading across his face. She grinned back, taking a few steps to shove his shoulder.

“And here I thought you just wanted me to hang out,” she teased, Naruto pouting.

"It’s like a little reunion, how cute,” Kakashi spoke, Yamato not far behind him. Sakura glanced, noticing how the outliers had slowly snuck away. 

“Team 7!” Naruto cheered, throwing his fists in the air in triumph.

Sakura laughed, running a hand through her hair. Kakashi gave his signature closed-eye smile, Yamato seemed pleased, and Sakura could even see the faintest smile of Sai’s face (through the plastic version of it, anyway). Either way, it was... bizarre, almost. Bizarre, but wonderful. She was giddy, covering her mouth as giggles poured out of her.

“I’m sure you’re hungry,” Sakura started, nodding her head towards the table. Sasuke nodded, and the group took towards the counter again. Sakura decided to take the far end, sitting once against next to Ino, who flashed her a warm smile.

“Doing great,” she whispered, Sakura rolling her eyes. 

The conversation devolved quickly after, Naruto ordering another round for everyone (despite the unanimous grumble from everyone  _ but him _ ); Sakura begrudgingly ate her meal, knowing that she probably wouldn’t get a good meal in a while again. She could feel herself drifting in and out of the conversation, which was mainly Naruto retelling wild stories since returning home and everyone else nodding along. Once, Sakura glanced off, spotting Shino sitting with his team: at the same time, he turned from Kurenai and looked her way.

She wondered what he was thinking, how he felt about Sasuke returning. She almost got up to ask him but stopped upon feeling the attention turned towards her. Sakura blinked, giving a sheepish smile. “Sorry, what was that?”

“Sakura, you weren’t even listening!” Naruto whined, crossing his arms and pouting (a signature look, she mused to herself). 

“Sorry, sorry,” she sighed. “Fighting off a food coma, ya know?”

Naruto huffed, but didn’t complain anymore about it. “ _ As I was saying _ , Tsunade was talking to me about a “special” mission,” he boasted, his chest puffing out. “She says it’s a perfect mission for me, but...” he somewhat deflated, shoulders drooping forward; Sakura bit back her grin as to not be rude. “It’s a long mission. She thinks a few months, at least.”

He paused to stare into his bowl for a moment before straightening his back and grinning. “But she said that I can choose my squad and everything! Which means...” Naruto got up from his seat, spinning to face them as his energy radiated off like heat waves. “Join my team! It’ll be just like old times, plus Sai and Yamato! Doesn’t that sound great!?”

Sakura felt her heart skip a beat as she considered his offer. Her first instinct was to happily agree, but it was immediately wiped out by the reality that no, there was no way she would be able to join them. Maybe if it was for a week, but even that would be sketchy for her; she had yet to make any real progress on the poisonings, not to mention just the general workload of the hospital. She tried not to look sad but had a feeling she wasn’t very convincing.

“I’m sorry Naruto, I can’t.” The blonde frowned, arms dropping in front of him dramatically.

“But Sakura! Team 7!” He whined, stalking back to his seat.

“I know, and I want to, but I'm busy with the hospital.”

He gave her the best puppy-dog pout he could muster, and she was forced to look away lest she cave into his demands. “I’m in a similar boat,” Kakashi said, nose buried in a familiar book. “Have a new mission already assigned to me, unfortunately.”

Naruto looked like he was about to burst into tears until Yamato agreed, followed shortly by Sai. The blonde stared at Sasuke, who sighed and nodded. “Do I have much choice?”

“Nope!” Naruto beamed. 

Sakura smiled, happy that at least most of them could go, but suddenly felt uncomfortable. Her mood had soured quickly, but she tried to keep up a fake cheeriness as Naruto excitedly explained when they would meet up and what weather to pack for. Maybe, her mind joked, she should seek help Shino recommended for how often she was spacing out now.

Speaking of the devil, it was Shino’s presence behind that rooted her back to reality, turning to meet his towering figure. “I apologize for interrupting, but Kurenai has informed me she is experiencing unusual pain all of a sudden. Would you mind checking her out?” He asked, voice even. Sakura blinked, standing up abruptly—it was possible that Kurenai had gone into labor, or something worse. Instantly, she was in medic mode, allowing Shino to guide her out of the building. Her boys said their goodbyes as she left, having overheard Shino’s plight.

Outside, the cool air helped to calm the heat that her internal strife was causing her; she followed behind Shino quietly as they began to walk down the street. It was a good thing she was nearby for this, as depending on how far they had gotten, there wouldn’t be a hospital nearby. Kurenai was a  jounin , so for her pain to be enough to fetch a medic had her nervous.

Sakura spotted the black-haired sensei sitting on a bench, looking comfortable; the duo  were quick to catch up to her, Sakura offering a smile. “Hi, Kurenai-sense. I heard you were experiencing some pain. May I check?”

Kurenai gave her a wide smile, and Sakura knew immediately something was up. She turned to Shino, who gave her the laziest shrug. “Sorry, Sakura,” Kurenai hummed, resting a hand on her stomach. “Shino said you needed an excuse to leave, and asked if I would help play decoy.”

Sakura flushed, shaking her head quickly. “I don’t understand?”

“You looked uncomfortable,” Shino told her blankly. “I also noticed your similar mannerisms to the previous day, like spacing out and how you tense your fingers.”

“I don’t--” she paused, biting her lip, “I really have a tell?”

Shino nodded, and she sighed. “Wonderful,” she grumbled, crossing her arms under her chest and beginning to rub her palm against the upper part of her arm. “I guess it must’ve been pretty bad if you noticed.”

“No, not particularly. I don’t believe the others noticed—maybe Sai, as he was right by you, but the others didn’t seem phased.”

Another sigh. Sakura turned to Kurenai, offering her a smile, which the older woman returned. “But you’re okay?”

“Yes,” she laughed, nodding. “I am perfectly healthy, and so is the baby.”

“Good,” she breathed out, tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ear. “Shino almost gave me a heart attack when he said you were in pain.”

Kurenai waved her off, hushing her. “Glad to know I could have the world’s top medic at my bedside if I needed it.”

Sakura flushed, opening her mouth to disagree with the title, but was hushed. “Don’t even start with me,” Kurenai had scoffed, albeit light-heartedly. “You guys enjoy the rest of your night though, okay?”

Shino and Sakura nodded and said their goodbyes, Kurenai turning on her heel to head home. Sakura’s fingers twitched, the cold air now nothing but a reason for goosebumps.

“Guess I’ll head home for the night,” she mumbled, silently regretting that she left the bill for someone else—most likely Naruto, if she knew any better. It was fine, she would just pay him later. Well... if she saw him before his mission, at least.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Shino asked, catching her off guard. She chewed her lip, glancing out into the nearby forest. 

“No, I think I want to be alone for a while.”

He nodded, respecting her decision. He was the first to begin to leave, but before he left, gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze. Sakura instinctively grabbed it, returning the gesture before the two departed to opposites side of the village in silence.

//////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// //////// ////////

Oddly, Sasuke was already present at the gate when she arrived. Sakura had planned on sending off the boys originally, but it was  Shizune who had forced her out the door earlier that day. She glanced around quickly to assess whether the others were nearby and had just wandered off or not, but couldn’t sense anything familiar; when she turned back to him, he was looking right her. Putting on her best smile, she walked towards him and waved a greeting. He nodded in return, and inwardly she prayed that someone else would be there soon to break the tension.

“It’s not too late to change your mind,” he said abruptly, Sakura blinking slowly as she processed his words. Was he... inviting her?

“I really wish I could,” she replied, shaking her head. “But there’s just too many people and things here that need me.”

Sasuke nodded, and she couldn’t tell if it was in acceptance or something else. Sakura tried hard not to stare at him, instead focusing on things that were just slightly past him. It was surreal... with him. So many downs, so many different times, with only a handful of ups. Yet, thanks to Naruto’s determination, here he was. Home. His village. Surrounded by friends.

She thought about the other  night at the ramen shop, how easily people seemed to accept his return (most likely due to Naruto; she wondered if Sasuke had concluded this too). Even Sai, who had previously voiced his disdain, talked to him like there was never any bad blood. It would be a lie to say she wasn’t happy he was here, and that a part she had long forgotten had reemerged and settled comfortably inside her. However, looking at him also made her fingers tingle, pulse skyrocket, and generally just put her a bit on edge. Sakura hated to admit it, but she was afraid of him snapping at any moment, even when she knew he wouldn’t. Was she the bad guy here, then? What would Naruto think if she told him?

“I heard about the  genin attacks,” he said, eyes still boring into her.

She felt the need to question how he knew about this, as he had only returned the previous night, but decided not to worry about it. Sakura was silently relieved to talk about work for once, knowing it would be an easy topic that she could keep up without having to sweat the details too much. “It’s not been good,” she said bluntly, frowning. “Surprise attacks, always  three-man genin squads with their lead, always heavy poisoning.”

He nodded, and for whatever reason, she took that as a reason to continue. “My guess, I think it's someone hiding explosive traps. I don’t think these are  targeted attacks, necessarily—although it's suspicious that it's always  genin . Both attacks happened nowhere near each other, but they weren’t very secured areas to begin with.”

“There aren’t many people with such a high level of poison expertise.”

Sakura nodded, crossing her arms. “A Suna- nin would be my best guess, with nothing else to back it up with. I thought about reaching out to Gaara to see if he had any missing- nin that specialized in poison that hadn’t been accounted for since the war. I just know he’s busy, and would hate to bother him...”

A silence fell over them for a moment, Sakura huffing and puffing to herself about the case. Sasuke seemed content with the quiet, although he still continued to watch her carefully. Thankfully, in their shoulder conversation, Sakura had already grown used to it. In the back of her head, she jokingly wondered if it was because of how much time she had spent with Shino. The man had a tendency to get lost in thought, or just stare right at her, and she had built up a good tolerance for it.

Not long later the two could hear Naruto’s boisterous voice, his laughter stretching far from his presence. Automatically, a smile crossed her features, thoughts breaking away from the doom and gloom. Sasuke gave her one last hard stare before breaking his gave from her, looking off to wherever the noise had originated from.

Now that she was free from his intense supervision, Sakura took the opportunity to look back at him. She could still see the young boy that fled home that night, the man who had tried to kill not only her but her friends (even his own allies!) more than once; but now, she could also see something else, something more. Guilt? Regret? Sadness? Peace? It was hard for her to decipher, but she saw it lingering in the corner of his eyes.

“Be safe out there, okay?” She found herself saying, voice so soft that a gust of wind would’ve covered it. Sakura wanted him to be happy, to finally get a chance to heal from everything he had been through. Whether he deserved redemption or not was not up to her, but she knew honestly that she would forgive him. Sakura wanted him to find peace here, with them.

He turned to her, smiling. She almost choked, unsuspecting such a reaction from the stoic man she barely knew (and also knew too much of). Naruto’s voice was getting dangerously close, but there was a sudden intimacy between the two that slowed everything else down.

Sasuke lifted two fingers and poked her forehead, leaving them there as he spoke just as quietly. “I’ll see you when I’m back.”

Sakura was a big girl, she told herself. She wouldn’t cry over a man who didn’t love her, nor for a man she no longer loved. She felt the heat in her cheeks, forcing down the sadness that threatened to erupt inside her. She couldn’t even swallow without upsetting the delicate balance inside her.

It wasn’t fair. He shouldn’t do this to her—she had moved on, found her place in the world, but god. God, how easily he sent her thoughts into turmoil. All these misplaced feelings made her feel crazy. Bastard, she wanted to hiss: fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck--

Naruto was there, excitedly babbling away about the mission. Sakura could only nod and smile, falling back on her ability to be robotically detached but still feign a presence. Everyone but Kakashi was there, which only sent her mind into more chaos.  _ Of course, _ she would be alone to watch them leave, knowing that she wouldn’t see them again for a while. She would watch their backs as they disappeared into the horizon, and she was sure there was a metaphor mixed in somewhere there.

The rational side of her brain told her that nothing was really going to change, as she was always busy with the hospital. But at least knew they were here, the other side fought back. Sakura shook her head to turn her attention to the boys. The least she could do was pay attention before they departed.

“- ashi can’t come because of some  Hokage business,” Naruto was telling them as he rifled through his backpack. “I begged granny but she told me to scram.”

Sakura snorted, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. That sounded about right.

“Ok! We’re almost set!” A pause, Naruto glancing up at Sakura with a bright grin. “it’s not too late to change your mind, Sakura. We can wait a little bit for you to pack! We could get the original Team 7 back together!”

Sakura smiled but shook her head. “I really wish I could, Naruto. I’ll have to rain check, though.”

He pouted but nodded, looking back down into his backpack as he returned to shuffling things around more. “I figured you’d say that, that’s why--” he withdrew a bracelet, clear beads lining it. At the apparent top were five different colored beads, each separated by exactly two clear ones: black, dark blue, orange, forest green, and a bright side. He offered it to her with a toothy smile, and she took it quietly.

“See? We’re each a color! I’m of course in the middle, as I’m your favorite,” he beamed. “So even if we’re gone or anything, you still have us with you!” Sakura felt nauseous, eyes unmoving from the bracelet in her hand.

“It’s special, so don’t lose it okay? I made it just for you.” Naruto followed up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and beginning to secure it. “You always work so hard, and I never get to see you... but I always think about you, ya’ know? I’m worried that you’re working yourself too much, but I know you’re doing important stuff.”

“You idiot,” she choked out. The words broke the tension inside her, a building of pressure that finally burst through as hot tears. A sob caught in her throat, and she didn’t bother to wipe away the onslaught of water as she closed the distance to Naruto, squeezing him as tight as she could. He wrapped an arm around her, his other hand cupping the back of her head as she cried into his shoulder.

“If you don’t come back, I’ll find you and  _ drag _ you back,” she sniffled, breaking away to breathe. Naruto laughed, nodding.

“Of course, Sakura. I’d be worried if you didn’t.”

The group said the last of their farewells, all being forced to hug a still-distraught Sakura before she would allow them to set foot outside the village. Yamato gave her a soft, warm hug, albeit him being a bit awkward with touching. Sai did his best to mimic what he  _ thought _ a hug was like, and in return, Sakura made sure to squeeze him enough to crack a few ribs. She was kind enough to heal the injuries before they set off. She looked to Sasuke, smiled, and nodded; his face looked plain, but she noticed the slightest quirk of his lips.

And for a second time, Sakura stood back as she watched her favorite people leaving. She slipped the bracelet on, her fingers playing with the beads. She told herself it was temporary, and they would return in no time at all, and everything would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> low key wholesome???? in MY story??????? more likely than u think. i had originally planned on writing this more angsty, but as i was writing i just COULDNT!!!! a lot of stories involve team 7 leaving her behind, etc, and while i do love those stories v much... imo it just didn't fit this well. 
> 
> i do know i'm taking a LOT of liberties here, but it's fine, everything will get thrown into chaos in a few chapters anyways hehe <3 i hope you guys are enjoying the ride, all your comments fill me w such ????? PURE GLEE!!!!!!!!!! 
> 
> love u all, until next time ♥


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